Hooray! We survived the Mayan apocalypse (talk about Montezuma’s revenge!) and now is the time for Hanukkah, Kwanza and the big birthday Dec. 25. No, not for He who cannot be officially mentioned, I mean mine. Despite the universal festivities and rejoicing, it’s not a good day for a birthday. I never had a party…
Last week, after enduring 25 minutes (I timed it) of commercials, I saw one film; furthermore, a Coke and a tiny bag of popcorn cost more than the ticket. Leaving the mall’s 13-theater complex, I thought about what it was like before the malls mushroomed across the nation and destroyed the vibrant downtown area of…
In my long ago age of innocence I thought the sign “Adult Toys” meant things like 3-D chess sets. On innocently entering the shop, I gazed with shock and horror on magazines, books and videos of such decadence and immorality as to shame the devil! As I turned to flee, a clerk, wearing the most…
Like tree rings, there is no stopping the evidence of the passing years. The first dental bridge, the lengthening belt size, the graying of the sideburns – so distinguished. (Yeah, right!) The first such sign to shock me occurred in college when a high school student called me “Sir.” At first I was pleased, but…
Halloween in my youth was exclusively for us children. In costume we fearlessly walked the streets after dark in search of candy and an occasional apple bob. The fiend hiding in the bushes we knew was just another kid trying to scare us. True, parents told of reports from New York and other bastions of…
When forced to watch my friends’ latest naughty films to critique them for plot, dialogue and character development, I admit a cowboy, pizza deliverer or the ever-busy plumber occasionally stirs my interest. I fantasize what might occur should Officer Bruno or Perfect Plunger’s Mr. Fix-It come a’knocking (By the way, do the lesbian films have…
I am visiting my hometown Portland (the real one!), Maine. In the coffee shop this morning I overheard, “A deeah run into muthah’s cah dowah when she was leavin the pahkin lot.” A perfectly clear report of a common occurrence. Had this been heard in San Diego, various “wits” would claim to need a translation….
Seniors will remember from our days of innocence the magazine ads for an unmentionable product featuring a gorgeously gowned model often running through a field of daffodils, along a country stream or over a moonlit desert whilst her gown billowed behind her; at the bottom of the page were the words “Modess … because” nothing…
Thinking we probably already saw them when we were younger, we seniors (and soon-to-be seniors) seldom rent movies from our youth. Big mistake. We were so young and innocent in those days (at least I was), that we missed the subtle, yet very much present sexual relationships and motives that often were vital to the…
The openness of being gay at Gay Pride brought to mind the time when guys had to use “she” and the lesbians “he” when discussing their dates. Code words and phrases were used to identify fellow travelers and gay businesses. “The Ruby Slipper” gift shop was clearly a place where one could ask about the…
