This past month, we celebrated Mother’s Day – a day full of emotions. For some, it was a happy day to celebrate; for others, it was a difficult day. Whether we like it or not, our mother figures all have things they teach us.
For example:
• Mothers teach us about foresight: “Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.”
• Mothers teach us about contradictions: “Shut your mouth and eat your dinner!”
• Mothers teach us about maturity: “Eat your vegetables if you want to grow up big and strong.”
• Mothers teach us about contortionism: “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?”
• Mothers teach us about perseverance: “You are going to sit here until you drink all of that milk.”
• Mothers teach us about genetics: “You’re just like your father.”
• Mothers teach us about the weather: “It looks like a tornado swept through your room.”
• Mothers teach us about religion: “You better pray that comes out of the carpet.”
Think about your mom. Think about a happy time when she was there for you, and even when she wasn’t there when you needed her (thinking she was doing the best she could). At times, we all need mothering. We can all be mothering to each other; our age or our gender doesn’t matter.
One of the tasks of mothers is teaching. When we’re young, very few hold as much influence over children as mom. That’s why when the football player waves to the camera, he says, “Hi Mom.” Dad may have taught him to play football, but mom still gets the shout out.
There’s a story found in the book of Matthew where, at first glance, it looks like a mom is trying to weasel her boys into the best seats in the Kingdom. This mom still thought that Jesus was going to rule in power and overthrow the Roman rule. Little did she know what she was asking.
If we look at this story from a mother’s perspective, we can come up with five lessons we can learn from Salome, the mother of James and John.
(Please note, there are many references to Jesus in this story and if Jesus isn’t your path, feel free to substitute your Higher Power.)
1. Her approach to the Teacher: She obviously knew that in order to get the best life had to offer, Jesus was the one. So she made it a point to come to Him. She teaches us to approach Jesus with both our needs and our desires.
Also, she brought her children to the feet of Jesus. Perhaps one of the outstanding positive lessons we can learn from this story is the importance of having our children, or those we influence, with us when we approach God. Her kids were grown! She brings herself, her kids and her requests to Jesus. Jesus says to each of us, “Come unto to me.”
2. Her attitude toward the Teacher: It’s very interesting to watch children and see that they often adopt the same attitude as their parents. If a parent carries prideful, arrogant or negative attitudes, the kids will probably pick up on those. If a parent carries positive, happy and caring attitudes, then the children will pick up on those. Notice this mom’s attitude toward Jesus.
She knelt down before Jesus. She taught her adult boys how to show respect to God. What’s another image that comes to your mind when someone gets on their knees out of love and affection before asking a big question?
3. Her appeal for the Teacher: Notice when she comes to Jesus in the right way and in the right attitude, He asks her, “What do you want?”
Think about how wonderful this is. Jesus – the Messiah, the Deliverer, the Provider – is concerned about what “we want.” To me, this is so beautiful! Different translations use the words “want, wish, request and desire” to express that Jesus was truly interested in what this mom wanted.
For this mom, perhaps she was attempting to get her boys a “leg up” or maybe she was attempting to make sure they would be taken care of after she was gone. But don’t miss this: she was honest with Jesus. God wants us to be transparent and to share whatever is in our heart.
4. Her awareness about the Teacher: When Jesus speaks in verse 22, mom is silenced. Why? Could it be that maybe, for the first time, she realized the seriousness of her boys walking with Jesus.
Think about this conversation. Jesus said, “You don’t know what you’re asking and how difficult this journey will be Mom,” and mom went silent. When I close my eyes and see this picture, I see a mom who was attempting to get the cushy jobs for her boys and found herself in amazement at what she had done.
Truly following Jesus, and the teachings of Jesus, requires something of us. There is a cost. Following Jesus will affect the way we respond to a negative comment. It will affect the way we are quick to forgive and slow to speak. It will require praying for our enemies instead of getting on the bandwagon and gossiping about them. It will mean letting love be our first response.
5. Her acceptance of the Teacher: In verse 23, I notice one important thing: mom didn’t argue, discuss or try to debate with Jesus. She accepted His words as truth. What a legacy!
To have a face-to-face encounter with Jesus is to walk away a changed person. While the scripture doesn’t track in detail the mother of James and John, we do see this lady known as Salome, at the tomb of Jesus. For me, this shows that her encounter with Jesus led to her following and accepting Jesus. What an example.
When was the last time you told your mom that you love her?
I thank my mom and my grandmothers and the mother figures in my life for their examples of unconditional love, and for pointing me in a direction where I can truly hold on to a strong love, a deep joy and a true peace. Rev. Dan Koeshall is the Senior Pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met) in San Diego, California, themetchurch.org.
