A good friend of mine passed away unexpectedly last week. Mark and I were working together on a new start-up in the genetic medicine industry, he was only 56. Monday was my 57th birthday.
Mark and I attended Harvard Business School together and were two of the youngest people in our class. Mark’s untimely death, followed quickly by my birthday and now Thanksgiving, has really made me think about life. As my grandmother used to say, “tomorrow isn’t promised to you.”
Mark’s death, and the quick end of San Diego icon Ben Dillingham’s life, has made me reflect on the choices that I am making in my life. Living, and making choices, in the moment is not easy to do. We all delay saying I love you, thank you for helping me or thank you for helping others. No, I have not turned into Pollyanna, but sometimes we forget the niceties that can really make a person’s day.
When was the last time that any of us have thanked the many leaders in San Diego for the incredible work that they do for our great city? It’s so much easier to point out faults and shortcomings. This coming from someone who can teach a Master Class in criticism.
Criticism is important to move things forward, but so is praise. A great example of someone who is a lightning rod for criticism is my good friend Nicole Murray Ramirez, age unknown. There are many who hasten to criticize Nicole because he is a great self-promoter whose political leanings are just that, they may lean this way today and that way tomorrow. See criticism is easy. Praise is hard.
How many of you have ever said, “Nicole, I don’t agree with everything that you do but you did a great job on X? Not that many. Whether it was starting the Harvey Milk Breakfast, or getting the first street named after the leader, or the wonderful work Nicole did during the initial AIDS crisis, how many of you have ever said “thanks”? There are many of you reading this right now saying, “But Nicole did Y.” See, being thankful is hard.
Of course, I know of which I write. LGBT Weekly has been around for 7 years, winning a historic 72 San Diego Press Club Awards of which I am eternally thankful. Thankful to the writers, the columnists, editor Steve Lee, graphic designer Jeff Jungblut and our sales manager John Rutherford, as well as countless others over the years. But how many times have I said thank you, not many, and to some, not at all. This Thanksgiving has given me the opportunity to right that wrong.
I hope this holiday season that you right some wrongs within your life. Are there old friends to whom you have not spoken because of some silly dust up? Give them a call. How about a sibling, parent or relative who you are not on the best terms? Reach out, and if your hand is slapped, rinse and repeat. Life is not long. You are currently living what you will later call the good old days, if you live long enough. This Thanksgiving and every day cherish each moment. Because my friend, tomorrow isn’t promised to you.
STAMPP CORBIN
PUBLISHER
San Diego LGBT Weekly
Dear Publisher,
Its time for all Gays nation wide to stop this charade that everyone under the Rainbow are our friends, even Gay Republicans too.
Yes indeed Ramirez Murphy may have done this or that for what he thinks is benefiting the community, but for every single “Boy you did a job on X”, or so you think, there are probably a dozen times when his obnoxious and crass mouth has done our community irreparable harm and set back various charities many years when straight well healed and willing donors go running the other way at first ear shot of her potty mouth and revolting lack of even basic manners.
Similarly why do we excuse Gay Republicans such as Susan Jester, former head of the Log Cabin Republicans, and yes founder of AIDS Walk San Diego, and honor her as Community Grand Marshal of the San Diego LGBT Pride Parade, but conveniently leave out any mention of her history with the Republican Party, candidates, and the Log Cabin Club from her official SD Pride Website Bio? Why?
To paraphrase MLK I’m not interested in if someone has Gay sex, Im interested in the content of their character.
If you are so proud of these “Traitors” (yes I consider them no better than the Vichy Nazi Collaborators in France in WWII), then you should be proud of their entire history of service in the community, not a “redacted” version to make them more acceptable and white washed.
Gay Republicans whether they supported Trump or not (most wont admit to it) support the Party he is the standard bearer of, who’s legislative agenda is going to enrich the wealthy (it is my contention that Gay Republicans are in it only for the money) at the expense of the poor and create millions of Americans without health insurance, AND CUT HIV HEALTHCARE RESEARCH AND FUNDING…yet despite slitting our throats with supporting the GOP, we are still supposed to welcome them under the Rainbow?
It is my contention that Gay Publications in this town will never out the Gay or straight Republican run or owned businesses, such as Mo’s Universe, Rich’s Nightclub, The Eagle, SDGLN Websites, and straight Republican businesses in Hillcrest like the Crest Cafe, because you covet the ad revenue they provide you in addition to the comped meals and drinks, and therefore that makes you complicit (Word of the Year BTW) in the charade that all Gays are good despite their political persuasion and are welcome under the Rainbow. BS!
I have been a “member” of this community for almost 50 years, grew up in Hillcrest and have seen it all evolve over that time, but this current crop of charlatans and out of town carpet baggers seeking to milk the San Diego LGBT community of their money, and publications such as yours and others promoting their businesses giving legitimacy to their money making at the expense of the community, and giving a platform for self aggrandizement promoting their “leadership” in our community like Murray-Ramirez does at every given opportunity, has convinced me that now that we have gained “our rights” we are dumb fat happy and content to allow these thieves to not only rob us blind, but support candidates who will eventually strip us of those rights.
Case in Point and I hope you editorialize on it: The US Solicitor General just put forth an argument in the Supreme Court Case of the Colorado Gay Wedding Cake Fiasco, that it would be alright for a business to hang a “NO GAY WEDDING CAKES SERVED HERE” sign in their windows, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders just stated that such actions would be justified by the President’s support of Religious Liberties.
I would like to remind you Mr. Corbin in case you have forgotten your own people’s history, that you are an African American Man, and as such used to be subject to Jim Crow laws and Colored only Drinking fountains for instance.
Are you still so sure about giving unequivocal support and shelter to Gay Republicans?
Think about that, and read the briefs filed at the Supreme Court.
Sincerely
John Thurston