We forgive athletes and teams for a variety of offenses, from steroids to strikes to slurs. Kobe Bryant fans will eventually forgive him for calling an official a “F—in’ f—ot,” as many did for prior alleged acts. Before we do so, let’s make him do a little more than apologize and give the NBA $100,000. The LGBT community needs advocates in major sports, and I think Mr. Bryant just stepped to the line.
The NBA (30 x 15), NHL (30 x 23), NFL (32 x 53), and MLB (30 x 25) account for 122 teams and 3,586 players. As a study determined that 3.5 percent of Americans will admit to a stranger that they are LGB, there should be 125 gay players. Some argue that gay men are less likely to participate in sports. I don’t buy it, cut that number by 50 percent and we still get 62 gay players. Yet there are no out gay males in America’s four major sports. Zero. Nada.
There has to be more to this than the normal fear of coming out, because the 3.5 percent number excludes homosexuals who won’t admit to being gay. Is it random chance? Probably not. The likelihood of 62 pennies all coming up heads is less than one in a trillion trillion. With those odds, keeping 62 men in the closet isn’t the result of subtle pressure. It’s closer to a conspiracy.
Why keep the gays out of sports? For the same reason some conservatives fought tooth and nail to keep gays out of the military. It allows homophobic people to perpetuate the myth that gays aren’t real men.
Kudos if you bought your daughter or niece a football, but they still usually go to the boys, along with police cars, cowboys and GI Joe’s. Benign as play things, too many use these toys as building blocks for rigid definitions of gender roles and what it means to be a real man.
Those constructs are disintegrating, leaving the intolerant clinging to what’s left, or in their meme, right. The Village People, and reality, dismissed the notion that gays can’t be cops. Willie Nelson told us that “cowboys are frequently, secretly, fond of each other”; Brokeback Mountain finished outing them. With DADT repeal in the works, major league sports are the last refuge for those who want to teach their sons that gays aren’t real men.
Given San Diego’s gay softball, football and basketball (among other) leagues, one might think that sports discrimination was a thing of the past. Alas, no. Last month, a gay friend and athlete was told “I’m not touching that f—ot”. In North Park. By a teammate.
I have the utmost respect for active soccer, rugby and WNBA players who have come out of the closet, and for retired athletes who are open about their sexuality and active athletes on the record as allies. They have moved the ball toward tolerance, but they need an assist from an MLB, NHL, NFL or NBA player who is gay or a vocal ally.
I wouldn’t have picked Mr. Bryant, but his recent tirade makes him the perfect candidate. Somewhere else, stating that the “words expressed do not reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were not meant to offend anyone,” might suffice. As Mr. Bryant plays at the Staples Center, less than 10 miles from West Hollywood, it’s an airball.
“Not meant to offend anyone” is up there with “I’m sorry you felt that way” in the pantheon of self absolution, suggesting that you believe what you said, but you find it inconvenient that others are distressed and that you may be punished. It’s not tolerance, and it certainly isn’t penance. It’s spin.
As far as we know, Mr. Bryant won’t be the first active gay athlete in a major sport, but he could be a fulcrum of tolerance. If “f—in’ f—ot” truly does not reflect his feelings, then he needs to step up and tell us what they are, with a statement like “The best teams are honest with each other, and I will not stand by while others are forced to hide who they are.”
Would that make an NBA star come out of the closet tomorrow? Unlikely. It would send a message that you’d better have a higher profile than Kobe Bryant to give a gay teammate a hard time, effectively ruling out everyone but LeBron James. More importantly, it will tell boys and girls that Number 24 thinks that gay is OK, and discrimination isn’t.
Growing up Catholic, I was taught that reparation was part of true penance. Mr. Bryant can atone with a sincere statement shorter than a “Hail Mary,” and get it in before Easter. It’s not much to ask. The ball is in his court.
