It’s officially autumn! Our ongoing warm weather may attempt to trick us to believe in perpetual summer, yet we are all aware of the subtle differences of our shorter days and cooler evenings. Seasons change and so do we as individuals in our life journeys. Due to the nature of my work, I meet many people who have made powerful, courageous changes in their lives. They have decided to turn from lifestyles which pulled them way off course and brought harm to themselves and others, and they turned instead toward living healthy, balanced lives, putting addictive behaviors behind them once and for all! As our natural environment is driven forward through the seasons by the laws of nature, the individual who has chosen a life free of substances drives herself into a season of healthy change.
My role as the director of outpatient services at Foundations San Diego allows me to interact with many inspiring people who have chosen this new season of positive change. One particular story I would like to tell today belongs to Chris Thomas, one of our therapists on staff. Chris holds a master’s degree in counseling and a bachelor’s degree in psychology. He has extensive experience working in addiction treatment as a residential counselor, outreach coordinator and director of support services. He has been a health educator and has worked in the participant accrual and retention department at UCSD HIV Neurobehavioral Research Center.
I am fortunate to have a compassionate professional team of licensed clinicians with whom I work who labor daily to provide treatment services to individuals in early recovery. Many individuals who have dedicated their entire professional careers to helping others have themselves been on a journey of returning to their authentic self. Chris Thomas has graciously agreed to contribute his story to this month’s column. You may be struggling with your own secrets, and you may well know how those secrets are major roadblocks to living a balanced healthy life.
From the desk of Chris Thomas: As a gay man who has been sober since Sept. 13, 1994, I understand the unique challenges to recovery such as HIV, Hepatitis B and C and co-occurring mental health disorders. I understand the high addiction rates in the LGBT community. There is an increased amount of shame and guilt that stems from the coming out process. Many of our LGBT patients have experienced abandonment from their families, intolerance within their religion and a loss of identity. I believe that struggling with secrets, which becomes a way of life for many in an effort to stay safe in society, perpetuates shame and guilt. The shame and guilt an addict or alcoholic experiences is very similar. So in a way, many LGBT addicts and alcoholics are recreating the same pattern they lived while trying to hide their sexuality as they try to hide their addictions.
For many there is a sex-drug link. The Internet age has opened up immediate access to ways for individuals to connect quickly and often in unhealthy behaviors. Many in early recovery fall into Internet addictions and sexual compulsivity, which are cross-addictive. It can be very tough to stay sober while acting out sexually. There is a strong sex-drug link for many gay men. For example, recovering from methamphetamine addiction requires increased caution in the area of sexual compulsivity due to the sex-drug link. I guide all my patients around the ideas of establishing and setting realistic boundaries around sober sex. I encourage and teach about intimacy and courtship.
My work as a therapist at Foundations San Diego integrates its program with the best of the Hillcrest neighborhood. We are a resource for the LGBT community. If you or someone you know needs help and has a willingness to change, please reach out to us. We are dedicated to helping you from the moment you call, and we welcome you to join the recovery journey. Our staff is top notch. After my first week at our facility, I recall coming home, thinking, “Everyone is in the perfect position for his or her talents and abilities. They all work together so nicely, and I’m blessed to be part of this organization.” If you want to meet people you can trust – people who understand where you are and how to help you move forward in life – consider coming to see us at Foundations San Diego. You are safe with us.
Patricia Bathurst, LMFT, is the director of Foundations San Diego, an outpatient recovery facility located in Hillcrest at 3930 Fourth Ave., Suite 301, San Diego, CA 92103. Ms. Bathurst is a certified advanced addiction counselor as well as a licensed marriage and family therapist. Questions for Pat? Contact Foundations San Diego at 619-321-1575.
