We wrap up the series on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. These are powerful agreements – life changing agreements. They’re as good as we allow them to be. They’re only good if we agree to them and practice them in our daily lives. Agreement Four is: Always do your best!
Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. This agreement is the one agreement that allows all of the other three agreements to become deeply ingrained habits. By habits, I mean a way of life – daily – natural responses. The premise is simple. No matter what you’re doing, just do the best you can.
Here’s the caveat: your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive. Everything is changing all the time. Sometimes your best will be better, and other times it may not be as good.
Some people are morning people, others are night owls. Morning people are refreshed and energized first thing, bright and early. They don’t even need coffee to get them going. Their best in the morning would be different than at 11:30 p.m., after a long day of work.
Your best will also depend on how you’re feeling, whether you’re feeling wonderful, chipper and happy, or upset, angry or jealous. Our moods are changing from moment to moment or at least day to day, so your best will also change over time. As you build the habit of the four new agreements into your life, your best will become better than it used to be.
That’s the good news!
The key is this, regardless of the quality, keep doing your best. No more. No less. Just your best in that moment.
Don’t try too hard. You don’t have to overdo it. That will just deplete your energy if you’re trying too hard. And don’t do less than your best. If you do that, then you’re setting yourself up for frustrations, self-judgment, guilt and regrets.
Just do your best. If you do that, there’s no way you can judge yourself. If you don’t judge yourself, there’s no way you’re going to suffer from guilt, blame and self-punishment, that we’re so good at doing to ourselves. This could be very freeing!
I have to warn you. If you decide to accept this agreement, there are side effects. You’re going to live your life more intensely. You’re going to be more productive. You’re going to be good to yourself, because you’ll be giving yourself to your family, friends, to your community, to everything. You’re going to be feeling intensely happy when you always do your best, because you’ll be taking action.
You’re taking action not because you’re doing it for a reward, but because you love it. It becomes part of the way you live.
For many people, it’s just the opposite. They only take action when they expect a reward. No reward. No action. They end up not doing their best.
Here’s a good example: How many of us go to work every day thinking of payday? We just work for the money. We can hardly wait for the weekend and payday.
Don Miguel Ruiz says this about people with this attitude: “They work so hard all week long, suffering the work, suffering the action, not because they like to, but because they feel they have to. They have to work because they have bills to pay, because they have a family to support. They have all the frustration, and when they do receive their money, they’re unhappy.”
I went through a period in my life when I was just working for the money. I was an investor analyst. I couldn’t wait for payday. When I got my check, I was upset because it wasn’t enough for all that I was suffering in that job.
I started to change my attitude. I started to be grateful. I started to do better. Eventually, I found myself doing my best. I was noticed by my supervisor and was given a transfer to another department with the purpose of advancing. I was also given a nice pay raise!
When we simply do our best, we don’t give ourselves, or anyone else, the opportunity to find us guilty or to place blame. No matter what they say we can answer, “I did my best.”
Always doing your best keeps you in the present moment. If you’re doing your best now, you can’t live in the past, in regrets, in anger or bitterness. Doing your best now prevents you from living in the future, worrying about what might possibly happen. Oh, what a waste of energy.
God wants you to live into your full potential. Look around and you’ll see how God has given the best of many things to you. I watched the best sunset this past week, was around the best people and was reminded we have the best of so many things!
I remind you that the first three agreements will only work if you do your best. Don’t expect that you’ll always be impeccable with your word. But you can decide to do your best. Don’t expect that you’ll never take anything personally. Just do your best. Don’t expect that you’ll never make another assumption. But you can certainly do your best.
Whatever your task, do it with your whole heart, as unto God, and not for others. As we are open to being transformed into the best God wants us to be, into all that God has created us to be, we can’t help but feel blessed and happy.
Make the agreement today to honor God and honor yourself.
Rev. Dan Koeshall is the Senior Pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met) in San Diego, California, themetchurch.org
