SAN FRANCISCO, — Designer Steven B. Wheeler, a man with no formal training as a geneticist, today announced the discovery of Gay Jeans. At last, definitive evidence that some denim really is just born that way.
From the steps outside Betabrand headquarters, he addressed questions from the scientific and fashion communities:
Q: How do I know these jeans are really gay? Could it just be a phase?
A: Actually, brand-new Gay Jeans look and act like any other pair of fine five-pocket denims. But as they get older, they can’t help showing their true colors — literally! Through washing and wearing, their indigo dye will gradually fade away, revealing a rainbow of fabulously colorful yarn.
Q: Can I prevent them from becoming gay by not washing them?
A: This will merely slow the process. It will also have the unintended consequence of repulsing friends and loved ones, regardless of orientation.
Q: If I’m straight, will wearing Gay jeans make me gay?
A: No more than driving a Toyota will make you Japanese. If you put on a pair of Gay Jeans and begin experiencing gayness, chances are it’s because you’re gay.
Mr. Wheeler explains the rainbowing process in the above video.
Gay Jeans are out of the closet, but how many more closets will they end up in? Launched on Betabrand’s crowdfunding platform only yesterday, they’ve already more than doubled their funding goal. Mr. Wheeler is celebrating this success by donating 10% of the proceeds to the San Francisco LGBT Center.
