Inaugurated in the United States in the early 20th century, Father’s Day is traditionally celebrated in the majority of countries the third Sunday in June.
According to The Library of Congress the idea for Father’s Day is attributed to Sonora Dodd, who was raised by her father after her mother’s death during childbirth. Ironically, it was while she was attending church on Mother’s Day that she thought that fathers should have a day too. The first Father’s Day was celebrated in Spokane in 1910.
Founded to complement Mother’s Day, the day is designed to be a celebration of fatherhood and male parenting and in honor of fathers everywhere San Diego LGBT Weekly reached out to the LGBT community to find out the meaning of Father’s Day.
Former San Diego resident, Jack Mellman, now living in Phoenix has fond memories of his father and the fact that he was so supportive of him being gay.
“Part of what Father’s Day means to me is found in the deep appreciation I have for my own father who was very much a sports guy, having been a lightweight boxer himself back in the 1920s. “Whenever I had a gay relationship fail I would call him and he would say to me, ‘It will be OK, you can come back to your room at home.’ He was always a wonderful host when I would bring my partners over for dinner or for holidays. He was so gracious in that respect,” recalls Mellman. “I feel so blessed to have had a sports guy father and a sports guy son/Marine who were accepting of my being gay. Love should come from family, and in my case I was very fortunate.”
Dave Fenn, a single gay dad from San Diego loves Father’s Day as his kids make him feel very special. “Father’s Day is my most favorite personal date; like a birthday. I look forward to it because it’s my day and my kids make sure that I have the best day ever,” said Fenn.
Fenn says his children have always been supportive of him even during some very difficult periods of his life. “My kids are very supportive of me,” said Fenn.” They understand and support my life and what I want and my hopes and my dreams. It was trying in the beginning because my ex-wife is a Mormon and she didn’t want me to have anything to do with my kids in the beginning when I came out. She has kinda warmed to the idea now.”
According to Fenn, his kids have changed his attitude to life and his priorities. “In the past I’ve dated men and my kids have all come to like the person I’m with. My two younger kids don’t like that I’m alone and don’t have anyone but I assure them that they come first and there is always time for dating and a relationship later in life. They all come first for me. And some of the guys in the gay community don’t understand that,” explains Fenn.
Over in the South Bay, Snapper Humphries and partner Kyle who just last week took their two kids Denmark and Demirae to Disneyland summed up what Father’s Day means to them, “Father’s Day to us,” said Humphries, “is having fun with our little ones and acknowledging the honor and privilege of being called ‘Daddy’!”
San Diego resident Barbara Van Epps recalls Father’s Day in her household was very much all about dad. “My brother and I would simply honor my dad’s financial, familial and horticultural contributions by showering him with homemade meals and a stack of Hallmark cards,” said Van Epps.
After growing up in a difficult environment and subsequently suffering the stigma of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, John Armantrout from San Diego sees Father’s Day as a very special life-affirming day.
“I grew up in an environment that said I wasn’t ‘normal’ and I wasn’t going to be able to have a ‘normal’ life,” said Armantrout. “I then went into the Navy and was told that I was a second-class citizen under years of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and wasn’t welcome if I tried to be myself. Then, I found Larry and we found our miracles – and adopted Mike and Tristion. Now, we have the title ‘Dad’ and ‘Papa.’ We have each other and our family. I am exactly who I was created to be and where I am supposed to be. And Father’s Day is an affirmation of my life – a celebration to say ‘thanks for being you, Dad’ – with no judgment.”
President Barack Obama once said that being a dad is sometimes his hardest job, but also the most rewarding; experiencing those precious moments with our children that fill us with pride and excitement for their future.
But after the gifts of socks and after shave have been opened, the meals are done and the phone calls made its worth remembering that the true meaning of Father’s Day is acknowledging the huge contribution of fathers everywhere and to truly celebrate the importance of male parenting. Happy Father’s Day, June 16.
