Two-thirds of LGBT seniors live alone. Fifty percent of nursing care employees say their co-workers would be uncomfortable assisting LGBT residents. These are just two of the problems facing LGBT seniors that the movie Gen Silent hopes to bring more public awareness to.
There was recently a screening of Gen Silent hosted by the Greater San Diego Business Association (GSDBA), Scripps Hillcrest and Lifeline. It’s about LGBT seniors dealing with aging in a health care system that’s not always embracing of them. Several seniors told their stories as they aged. Heartbreaking experiences were revealed as they faced aging alone or cared for by their aging partners without help.
As LGBT seniors age and require care, many go back into the closet as they reach out for access from the health care system. Or even worse, they are too fearful to seek any help at all.
It may be hard to understand why someone feels they need to hide who they are or be fearful of being LGBT in a time when our community is making so much progress in terms of both legal recognition and public acceptance.
However, Gen Silent does an amazing job of taking us back in time when these seniors were young. They grew up in a very hostile environment. Gay was considered a mental health disorder. Police were raiding gay bars and publicly outing them in newspapers. The seniors of today that did come out 30 years ago were mostly estranged from their families.
As a result of that history, LGBT seniors created a safe home as protection to live fulfilling lives in private. This also caused isolation from a crucial network of family and public services that typically care for seniors as they age.
Now that they are aging and need help, LGBT seniors have no other option but to allow elder care workers into their safe zone. This is a good thing because they are asking for help. However, a majority of elder care facilities and case workers are not being trained to work with the LGBT community. They don’t know to ask about sexual orientation or understand why it would be relevant to know if a patient is LGBT or not.
LGBT seniors respond by hiding pictures of deceased spouses and “de-gaying” their homes so that elder care workers won’t be tipped off that they are LGBT. Some LGBT seniors don’t want their friends to visit them in living facilities because they fear being outed and will be ostracized by other residents.
It’s an enormous effort to identify and help our LGBT seniors.
One of the key takeaways I took from the movie is that LGBT seniors need relationships. These relationships can be from a weekly senior luncheon, volunteers visiting them at home, or case workers trained to work with LGBT seniors. Any kind of outreach to LGBT seniors is the starting point.
One of the LGBT seniors in Gen Silent said in her last video diary before she passed away alone and suffering “Don’t ever let this happen to anyone you know.” Let’s all make an effort to educate ourselves on the issues facing LGBT seniors so it doesn’t happen any longer. They did so much for the LGBT community to live with dignity and pride. Now it’s our turn to help “gen silent” do the same.
Steve Doster is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional providing commission-free financial advice for do-it-yourself investors. You can reach Steve at Doster Financial Planning by phone 619-688-1192 or email steve@dosterfinancialplanning.com. You can also follow Steve on Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, or blog to get more personal finance advice and tips.
