Some gay and lesbian seniors have been out for years; others only recently. And, sad to say, others are still in the closet. Many of us purposely keep our living space private in order to relax amid things of our lifestyle.
These varying degrees of outness to friends, co-workers and relatives correspond to the varying degrees of panic when one of them is due for a visit and the big decision is, should one de-gay the apartment/house and if so, to what extent.
De-gay is a frantic search and removal of all things gay: photos, pictures, knick-knacks, books, creams, gels, books, magazines, video discs, etc., before the arrival of the intruder. Not to mention installing computer passwords of Cabalistic complexity to thwart the curious who always want to “just check my email while you’re out” and disconnecting the answering machine lest someone leave a cute message, real or not, inviting you to an orgy.
As for those who know of our gayness, are they ready for the sling in the former nursery, the room full of evening gowns, the extensive whip, vibrator or “toy”collection? And the list goes on.
Whether or not the work is necessary is not for you or me to decide. Everyone has to act according to the impression they want to make.
Perhaps we all can agree, however, to prevent wild comment and speculation, one should get rid of that can of whipped cream in the bedroom.
Dress up, don’t give up
Senior gays and lesbians still on the hunt soon realize the hook-up scene is a what-to-wear challenge. They don’t feel comfortable wearing the newest young ’n single fashions and what was all the rage 20, 30, 40+ years ago can be embarrassing. What to do?
First, face the fact that very few of us would get lucky in a bar filled with 20-30 year old surfers. The slender muscular bodies of our youth, the flawless smile, the perky boobs, the mass of golden curls are gone. Do we give up?
Hell, no.
We must decide, however, what works for that all-important first impression and what doesn’t. Squeezing into pants that you know are dangerous to sit in won’t work; the shirt with the buttons that are going to pop is a no-no; the long, open v-neck exposing the long-gone six-pack is wishful thinking.
Open your eyes; consider your age and body honestly and choose a suitable and fashionable wardrobe. People of all ages can and do dress attractively and look great. Watch the older actors on TV, buy a style book, and ask a friend whose fashion sense you admire for advice.
Present an attractive, appropriately garbed appearance; match it with a pleasing, friendly personality and, if the stars are in the right position, you will be pleasantly surprised at the response.
