With the Families Through Surrogacy Conference coming up Oct. 1 in Los Angeles for those contemplating surrogacy, gay dad Sam Everingham explains what motivates him to run events for intending parents promoting good surrogacy practices not just in the U.S. but globally.
When my partner Phil and I engaged in surrogacy in New Delhi seven years ago, we were pretty naïve about the risks and consequences. Multiple embryo transfers? Bring it on. Anonymous egg donor? Yep sure. Caesarian delivery for all surrogates. Whatever you say. Proven donors? Hmm, don’t understand. Ignore that one.
Faced with miscarriages, premature delivery, neo-natal intensive care, dashed hopes and huge levels of stress, both emotional and financial, we soon realised how little prepared we had been. Fortunately, losing a child brought us closer rather than tearing us apart and we are now the happiest dads in the universe. But surely, I thought, the journey doesn’t need to be that hard?
So, with other parents, I started running conferences to help those considering surrogacy. I was awed by the hundreds who turned up to our first event in 2012. They had come to hear not just from industry professionals, but more importantly from other parents and surrogates. In an age where marketing and spin are king, they were there for honest feedback on what to expect from agency relationships, surrogate matching and treatment choices.
Some had trialled co-parenting with female couples as a practical, cheaper route to parenthood before turning to surrogacy. Others were considering the newly emerging surrogacy destinations of India, Thailand, Nepal and Mexico.
In the years to follow, many had success in these cross-border arrangements, while others were shunted from one country to the next as each introduced prohibitive laws and policies shutting out foreigners. Many were left empty-handed and out-of-pocket, sometimes with precious embryos trapped in foreign countries.
Nowadays, the focus is squarely back on surrogacy-friendly United States as the most reliable and trustworthy choices. And there’s no doubt that U.S. surrogacy options have continued to grow. Costs vary considerably in different parts of the U.S. In California for instance, demand from the wealthy Chinese market has pushed up surrogate compensation significantly. But dozens of agencies now tout for business not just in surrogacy’s heartland of California, but in states such as Oregon, Illinois, Texas, Florida, Massachusetts, Maryland, Connecticut, Georgia, Nevada and Wisconsin.
When our group quietly launched a transparent Trip-Advisor style rating system for surrogacy providers, we received over a hundred reviews in the first week, not just from parents but surrogates who wanted to praise or damn the professionals they had worked with. It’s evidence of the growing role of consumer feedback in influencing the choices we make.
Oct. 1, Los Angeles will – for the first time – play host to Families Through Surrogacy’s 4th US conference for intended parents and surrogates. The conference attracts many dozens of prospective parents and surrogates, all eager to learn how they can prepare themselves financially, emotionally and medically for one of the most intense journeys of their lives.
The purpose of the event is to help those considering surrogacy. So intending parents and surrogates can hear not just from industry professionals, but also from other parents and surrogates. Members of the surrogacy community can share honest feedback on what to expect from agency relationships, surrogate matching and treatment choices. The conference has a US Surrogacy focus with some overseas options shared as well. The conference attracts many prospective parents and surrogates, all eager to learn how they can prepare themselves financially, emotionally and medically for one of the most intense journeys of their lives.
Sam Everingham has two daughters via surrogacy. He is the Global Director of www.familiesthrusurrogacy.com
Families Through Surrogacy Conference
Saturday Oct. 1
Courtyard Los Angeles Westside, 6333 Bristol Parkway, Culver City
Event Schedule:
http://www.familiesthrusurrogacy.com/la-conference-oct-1-2016/
Tickets:
https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/us-surrogacy-conference-la-2016-tickets-26399680154
