The RuPaul’s Drag Race judge talks about her life, loves and why everyone deserves equality
There is no one word that describes the multi-talented Michelle Visage. She is a singer, dancer, DJ, television host, actor and more, but most of all she describes herself as a diva.
Michelle hails from South Plainfield, New Jersey. In the late ‘80s she moved to the big city and attended the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York. It was there that she was introduced to the underground world of voguing balls. She later formed the all-girl pop group Seduction and met a glamazon named RuPaul that would forever change her life. Now the one-woman powerhouse known for her role as a judge on the hit TV show RuPaul’s Drag Race has written The Diva Rules, her advice for living life to the fullest and finding success no matter what hand you’re dealt.
San Diego LGBT Weekly caught up with Visage to find out what makes this queen diva tick.
San Diego LGBT Weekly: Describe the three tenets of divahood?
Michelle Visage: No. 1: Bitches and divas are not the same thing. No. 2: Divas expect others to do them, not do for them. No. 3: All divas, no matter what size, sex, race, orientation, class or fashion sense, are beautiful.
Do you consider yourself a misfit?
100 percent. I always have and I always will identify as a misfit. No one ever understood me growing up; I was always looked at as the school weirdo and the best way I knew to get past it was to be funny and/or self-deprecating and for me, that worked. I realized when I was about 13 years of age that not only did I not fit into the “norm”, but I didn’t want to be “normal” because that meant I would blend in.
Why did the Go-Go’s save your life?
The Go-Go’s saved my life because at the age that I found Belinda Carlisle and the all-girl band was the time in my life that was the darkest. I had few friends, I was chubby, boys not only didn’t like me, but they wouldn’t even look at me. Here was this plus sized chick who was the lead singer of a huge pop/rock band wearing miniskirts and loving herself for who she was and celebrated it. I connected with that immediately. She gave me the balls to start dressing the way I wanted to with zero regrets. That is when my love for hardcore punk rock music began. It all started with Belinda, Gina, Jane, Kathy and Charlotte.
What was it like growing up in New Jersey?
I wouldn’t trade growing up in Central Jersey for anything. I was raised in enough of a suburbia to be somewhat, but not completely sheltered but city enough to get my much-needed street smarts. Jersey has it all. New York City was 40 minutes away, the shore was an hour away and malls to make the most flaccid, erect people from Jersey have that extra special something that you can’t quite put your finger on for better or for worse.
How did you find out that you are adopted?
My parents told my brother and I from an early age that we were adopted. There were never any lies or misconceptions; it was what it was. They used to give us books “You are an adopted child” etc. and my dad is the president of the board at the adoption agency where they got us. It’s pretty cool that he’s stayed involved all these years later. Adoption is a beautiful thing. We are chosen. I am truly blessed.
What was it like meeting your birth mother?
Meeting my birth mother Joanne was surreal. It wasn’t an Oprah moment mostly because I loved my mom (Arlene) and was secure in that relationship, but I mean, who wouldn’t want to meet their birth parents? Walking off that plane and seeing her face was a scene I will never forget. She was as beautiful as the sun in that moment, radiant, tall, olive complexion. She was so open and loving but not overbearing. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to that woman, even more so now that I am a mom. I can’t imagine carrying a child to term then having to give said child away. She knew I would have a better life and she didn’t think twice about it. She also could’ve terminated the pregnancy but went through with it and gave me life. She is the bravest, strongest woman I know and I will forever be indebted to her graciousness and love.
When you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up and why?
Well, at first a veterinarian, but my mom knew that I would never make it through the schooling as I was an ADD kid and my focus on school studies was never quite there. Her way of getting around that was telling me that I would have to euthanize animals and that stopped me right there. Smart woman that Arlene. I then looked at her and said “I want to be an actress.” She was happy to support me with that choice believe it or not, and here I am today. Today I still am yet to prove my acting skills but I love that my career is still wide open.
What do you think is your best quality?
I think my best quality is this: I have a gift. My gift is getting people to open up. I think I’d be a great therapist, to be honest. People have always walked away from me saying, “I have never told anyone that before.” I think it’s because I truly care about people. I love hearing their stories. I have always been a rescuer. I want to rescue the world. I love very deeply. I also feel very lucky that people feel safe with me.
What is your pet peeve?
Bigotry. Close mindedness. People who refuse to learn and grow. People who know everything. People pushing on the elevator before you get out.
How did you meet RuPaul?
We first met when I was 18 years old and we both worked for Susanne Bartsch in New York City. I would see Ru, Ru would see me, but it was a passing by acknowledgement, not a friendship. The true “meeting” came in 1992 when my song “Lovely Day” came out and he had “Supermodel” out and we met up in a green room at a music conference. We connected. We had a moment. Then inevitably we were paired to audition, unbeknownst to us, for a morning radio show in New York City in 1996. That was the start of the magic that exists today.
How did you and RuPaul become working partners?
After we started on the radio show together at WKTU in New York and it was a monster hit, Ru brought me on to his new chat show on VH1 called The RuPaul Show as his sidekick. Our chemistry was palpable and still is to this day. You can’t create chemistry, it’s just there.
What do you think your legacy should be?
I hope my legacy is about love and acceptance both of yourself and others. I fight for the ones who don’t have the ability to speak up. Everyone deserves a fair chance and everyone deserves equality. I will keep fighting till we have it.
What was it like being in the group Seduction?
Seduction was an amazing experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything either. I made no money, but I was rich with experience. I learned so much from those two power years, from recording to performing to touring, all of it. Being in a girl group is an interesting dynamic and I did it when I was 19 years old. I totally understand why they all break up.
What is your home life like?
My home life would be pretty boring to most, actually. I am a mom to two teenage girls; I have a hubby of 18 years and two dogs. When I am not working, I am a full time mom: cooking, cleaning, playing chauffeur. I am very lucky that I have a husband that is a stay-at-home dad to our girls whilst I am out touring and shooting. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
What is your advice for queens auditioning for RuPaul’s Drag Race?
Be Yourself. So many girls audition and produce their audition tapes with this character that they think will get them “noticed”. That isn’t what they look for. Ru loves honesty and vulnerability. The ability to grow and be humble; being human is beautiful, being false is exhausting.
What was it like being a part of the voguing scene in New York City in the late ‘80s?
At the time, it was just family. It wasn’t a “voguing scene”, it was just us misfits and freaks becoming one every night in a different club setting or down at the Christopher Street piers. The love and acceptance I felt everyday with this community is the reason I am so devoted. They all took me in from the minute I met them, no questions asked, no eyebrows raised. Looking back at it, I am so lucky to be a part of queer history. A moment in time that not only will I never forget, but will forever be grateful for.
The Diva Rules by Michelle Visage on Chronicle Books available now at a bookstore near you or Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
For more on Michelle Visage visit: michellevisage.com
