Looking back there were many times when we came to a fork in the road and, willingly or not, we chose a path which changed our plans, our dreams and for what it’s worth brought us here. Some choices, part of becoming adults, were expected like college, job, where to live, whom to marry, etc. Such decisions were difficult enough, but they paled when the unexpected was thrust upon us such as death, job loss, pregnancy, military service, divorce, etc.
Whose fault may be debatable, but our plans, savings and hopes often came to naught. These bolts from the blue altered our lives sometimes in literally minutes. Shock, fear and panic engulfed us: what to do, whom to call, how to cope. Now in our “golden years,” the new forks we face are approaching far too swiftly: stay, move, my car, assisted living, my furniture, make a will, whom to trust and on and on. These dilemmas were all faced by our parents and friends; now it is our turn. There is no alternative but to accept reality, make a decision and live with it. Be sure you do it. Do not let others decide later what they want for your living arrangements, your furniture, your estate.
Open this new chapter without rancor and denial. Realize life changes are inevitable and are not automatically good or bad, just different. There is never a convenient time to deal with these unwelcome disruptions. Negative feelings are, therefore, natural, but it will be well worth the struggle to keep them at a minimum. The adjectives you, your spouse, partner and friends use can make a difference.
The new path may be a bitch, but it can also be challenging, exciting and interesting.
Nothing can possibly go wrong. Right?
I arrived yesterday in cold Tokyo on my way to the warm beaches and warmer gentlemen’s spas in Thailand. Preparing for the trip, I paid attention to essentials like spare glasses, address book, re-chargers as well as to various exotic oils and an amusing toy or two which I have found useful in massaging away the tensions in my young gurus during our yoga meditation (Well, you’ve heard of it now!). I also checked last year’s shirts and jeans to see if they had shrunk in the San Diego climate. Many seniors can attest to this occurring.
For the first time I made a list of what was to be taken, adding to it daily. It proved invaluable as I packed my suitcase and checked things off. I heartily recommend it. I even included advice like: check stove, lock windows, hold mail and cancel newspaper. I gave myself a pat on the back for making note of the obvious: take money, passport, ticket, wallet and call a taxi. What could possibly go wrong?
I arrived at the airport two hours early and handed over my ticket and passport. To be polite, certainly not to show off, I greeted the staff in Japanese. My good intentions aside, they replied in English.
All seemed normal until a scowl replaced a smile followed by a mumbled conference. A senior staff member approached demanding to know what I was up to. She then held up my passport letting rays of light beam through several holes. Horrified, I realized it was my old passport. My new one was still in my desk.
A sickly laugh and an attempted joke were met with silence. Luckily, a hysterical round-trip taxi dash to my home for fifty bucks (plus tip) allowed me to catch my flight. Such a beginning bodes ill. What’s coming?
