On a recent Saturday night in San Diego’s University Heights neighborhood Tondelay O., a 6-foot-tall drag queen was dressed to the nines. But she wasn’t costumed to perform on stage – nor was she or any of her half-dozen or so sisters-in-drag decked out for a party.
Tondelay and her pals, not to mention about 65 other ordinarily dressed folks, were simply attending a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous at the Live and Let Live Alano Club (LLLAC).
LLLAC sees approximately 1,000 people pass through its doors every week. Hosting more than 40 meetings each week, “The Alano Club” as its frequently called, has provided a safe-and-friendly venue for 12-step and other meetings for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people – and of course a drag queen or two – for 32 years.
Whether they’re seeking recovery from addictions to substances like alcohol, heroin or crystal-methamphetamine, or from addictive behaviors such as gambling, overeating or compulsive sex, LLLAC is a reliably welcoming and safe place for LGBTs and all San Diegans.
But before there was an LLLAC, it wasn’t always easy to find a safe place to seek recovery for gender and sexual minorities.
“It was not uncommon for me to sit in a straight A.A. meeting and hear ‘fag’ being referenced to me by the other members,” says Arlene J., a charter member of LLLAC. “I would get up, leave that meeting, go to another one, and the same thing would happen there. At least I could go to the gay meetings [at LLLAC] and not worry about that.”
Although one of the first 100 members of Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1930s was gay, being gay was still considered a “character defect” by most in A.A. In fact, homosexuality was considered a mental illness by the medical community until the early 1970s. Such attitudes kept untold numbers of addicts and alcoholics out of the rooms of recovery, many of whom perished needlessly.
Thirty-two years ago, the Live and Let Live Alano Club began providing a venue where everyone was welcome. May 31, LLLAC will celebrate another anniversary at 1730 Monroe Ave. in University Heights.
A group of lesbians started Sober Sisters at LLLAC, and it’s now the longest-running A.A. meeting for lesbians in San Diego. As the number of meetings at LLLAC divided by gender began to grow, the members realized that they needed a community meeting, where both men and women could attend. As a result, the “2 Bit Speaker Meeting” was formed for all groups to attend every Saturday night.
The entire community is invited to help LLLAC celebrate diverse recovery, May 31 in University Heights. For more information, visit lllac.org.
