So what does it mean to be in recovery? What do you do when you recognize that you – or other important people in your life – are trapped by the fear, shame and guilt that addiction causes? What would it be like to live life to the fullest?
Many in the LGBTQ community have their hopes and dreams sidetracked by a loss of their authentic self. Often during the summer months and Pride season, some realize they have been partying and “overdoing it,” and the resulting consequences rattle them. What has all that drinking, drug use and negative coping done for you lately? I want to invite you to experience a life of true balance and love.
Let’s start with a description of the word “recovery.”
Recovery is the action of getting your life back from an obsession and dependence on drugs or alcohol. An obsession or dependence can also extend beyond alcohol and drugs to include food, gambling and sex. Recovery is simply the return to a normal state of health; balance in body, mind and spirit.
As a person makes the decision to move her life toward recovery, she is tapping into her own belief that her challenge, as well as condition, can and will be overcome. The decision to embrace recovery is a decision to embrace yourself, your own true north, to rediscover and reconnect with your hopes and dreams and to live authentically.
Recovery for you will address the whole person that is you. Your new recovery community will be there to support you. As you begin to contemplate your own life, and the concerns you or others have about your behaviors resulting from substance abuse, you will begin to open yourself to the possibilities in the world of recovery. What is the foundation of strength and courage? Resilience.
Resilience is an individual’s ability to cope with adversity and adapt to change. Everything leading up to this moment in life has prepared us for the challenges we face today. The challenge may be the internal voice speaking to you, saying that you have lost your way. Recovery – whether the first day without substances or many days in – is fueled by the optimism and hope that an authentic life can be lived and enjoyed. We can thrive as substance-free lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual or questioning individuals.
Recovery is an individualized process for members of the LGBTQ community. There is no right or wrong way. The process of recovery will launch you to new levels of understanding and insight. Adversity related to health conditions, anxiety, loss, fear, isolation or grief will be met with a new courage as your resiliency surfaces. You regain purpose and direction. The commitment to live a life of recovery will bring you into a community full of treatment options, holistic services, community-based self-help programs, peer support and social opportunities.
Recognition of the need for recovery is grounded in observations of the devastation of substance abuse. A member of our LGBTQ community will usually exhibit specific behaviors that tell the story of a person in need of help. It is common and normal for people to enjoy happy hours at our wonderful local establishments and to enjoy the camaraderie of close trusted friends. But the person in need of help tells us loudly through her behaviors that she is lost and spiraling away from her balance in life. Increased use of substances to manage life can frequently be accompanied by an increase in legal consequences, a loss of trust from friends, employment challenges, health problems or increased anxiety and depression due to feelings of helplessness, guilt and shame.
If this hits home for you or a friend, then know that there are many wonderful pathways and avenues to explore on the road of recovery. Today there are wonderful innovations in recovery that will enhance your journey. We in the LGBTQ community have met enormous challenges throughout history but the epidemic of substance use disorders will continue to take wonderful, creative individuals unless we stand up and return to our authentic selves to begin a path to recovery.
Patricia Bathurst, MFT is the director of Foundations San Diego, an outpatient recovery facility located in Hillcrest at 3930 Fourth Ave., Suite 301, San Diego, CA 92103. Ms. Bathurst is a certified advanced addiction counselor, as well as a licensed marriage and family therapist. Questions for Pat? Contact Foundations San Diego at 619-321-1575.
