Everyone wonders how someone should handle the delicate situation of when a friend is at the center of a public firestorm. Should you defend your friend to the end? Should you say nothing because all you know is the friend has been a wonderful leader and nice guy as far as you can tell? Does your relationship qualify you to vouch for or become a character witness for your friend?
Many friends of Bill Cosby are facing this situation and I am facing the same situation concerning my friend Terry Bean, one of the founders of two of the most important institutions in the LGBT civil rights movement.
As most know, Bill Cosby has been accused of rape by over a dozen women. All of the charges are so old that the statute of limitations has come and gone for most accusers. That point has not stopped the accusations from negatively impacting Bill Cosby’s career. His new show that was in development has been pulled and TV Land has stopped airing episodes of The Cosby Show. Recently on The View, Rosie O’Donnell seemed to be of the opinion that where there’s smoke there’s fire, while her female co-hosts all seemed to be coming to the defense of Cosby. Whether it was that Cosby was just accused, innocent until proven guilty, as Whoopi Goldberg asserted, or the evil of social media and its effect on Cosby’s career and legacy as Rosie Perez assailed.
Where this will all lead is still not clear, although the networks seemed to have decided already that Cosby is guilty. Netflix, NBC and TV Land have all acted to halt Cosby-related shows, but all according to CNN, have refused to comment further.
I have known Terry Bean for over two decades. He has been a tireless advocate for LGBT rights and was a co-founder of the Human Rights Campaign and the Victory Fund. He has also tirelessly fought for other progressive ideals and been a substantial fundraiser for the Democratic Party. Terry has always been a fun guy to be around. Uncommonly intelligent, a visionary, you would love to have a drink with him. Now Terry is accused of child rape, along with his former boyfriend Kiah Lawson, by a young man in Terry’s home state of Oregon. I introduced Terry at the Harvey Milk Breakfast two years ago because he was in San Diego to assist in honoring his good friend and former Oregon governor, Barbara Roberts. Terry, Barbara and I served on the Human Rights Campaign board of directors during the Elizabeth Birch years.
Many have asked me about the accusation and I always respond in the same way, I can’t believe that Terry acted inappropriately but I do not know the facts and they will eventually come out. While I do not personally believe that Terry was knowingly involved in child rape, the honest answer is I simply don’t know. What makes all situations like this uncomfortable for people who know the accused is how you know a person is really situational. I know Terry as a charismatic and thoughtful leader who has done so much for so many. I don’t know anything about his personal life except meeting his partners over the years at a myriad of functions. So can I say unequivocally that I know that Terry is innocent, I wish I could but I cannot. I do not know Terry in that context.
The same can be said of those who know Bill Cosby; unless they know Bill Cosby in a sexual context they simply do not know how he acts in those situations. In fact, even if a person knows the accused in a sexual context it does not mean the accused acts in the same way with a different person. That is simply the journalist in me that wants everyone to have a fair hearing, including the accuser.
Take the recent cases of sexual harassment leveled at Carl DeMaio. DeMaio and his team have always vehemently denied the allegations while some of his accusers have gone on record in front of the mainstream media to assert their claims.
For the sake of all of us, a fair hearing is what I hope Bill Cosby, Terry Bean and Carl DeMaio will eventually receive. The public is now involved in each story and wants a resolution. In fact, the media owes the public an unrelenting pursuit of the truth. In my humble opinion, if these people are innocent then their accusers should be punished to the greatest extent of the law. If the accused are found guilty then they need to do the time. Plain and simple.
In the case of Terry Bean, his attorney says “Terry Bean is a highly respected community leader who has devoted his life to bettering our community. Over the course of several months in 2013-2014, Terry was the victim of an extortion ring led by several men known to law enforcement. This current arrest is connected to the ongoing investigation of that case in which Mr. Bean has fully cooperated. No allegations against Terry Bean should be taken at face value. We look forward to the opportunity to clear his name.” That statement gives me hope the allegations against Terry are unfounded. His good name means a lot to the LGBT and progressive communities.
It is profoundly unsettling to see a friend in trouble but the best course of action is always to let the process resolve itself. Why? You only can know so much about someone you call friend, spouse or relative. You can hope, wish, or simply disbelieve the accusations against those you care about. But in the end truth will out.
STAMPP CORBIN
PUBLISHER
San Diego LGBT Weekly
LGBTweekly.com
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