Recently, a simple coffee break with friends produced several puzzling points for me to ponder. The first occurred when I innocently offered my spoon to a friend to stir his coffee. True, I had just used it in my own coffee, but I had not licked it, rubbed my filthy fingers on it, nor placed it on the undoubtedly germ-laden table top; yet the horror registering on my friend’s face was as if he had just learned it was I who had killed Bambi’s mother.
My offer sternly rejected, I commented on the customary cheek pecks (or more) we give and receive from our fellow LGBTers and wondered how many of us stop and consider where those lips have been. I also remarked about washing up in the restroom and then opening the toilet door by grabbing the fetid fingered door knob. Of course germophobes have their point and I am sure they are safer than I when it comes to picking up typhoid fever or cholera, but considering the handrails, bus straps and of course various poles I’ve held on to, I don’t feel it necessary to go that far.
I recall a TV safari program on which a cook was ordered to wear plastic gloves while preparing meals. The tourists were blithely unaware the dishes were later “washed” by rubbing them with desert sand. My second trial happened when I casually mentioned I had purchased a new watch at Walmart. Intense condemnation followed as to why I had not “bought American.” In my defense I reminded them we seniors were encouraged for years and years by mother to think of the poor Chinese children. So I did. What’s the problem? By the way, did I mention it cost $7.99? Was I supposed to go to fancy Costco? I wonder just how much “Made in USA” they sell. Some nitpickers, predominately among the young, will find my trials and discussion topics inconsequential and suggest we seniors should be discussing world crises, the minimum wage and the gayness of Carl DeMaio. Actually, we do, but our insightful suggestions and brilliant solutions are constantly ignored. Especially mine!
Stop putting it off
I just received news of an old friend’s final days. He could barely speak as he admitted he had no will, but wanted everything to go to his partner of 20 years and not a penny to his sister. A will was quickly typed up, but he wouldn’t sign it insisting, “No not yet.” Too late. His sister got everything. She gave the partner $5,000 and ordered him to be out of “her” condo in 30 days. Can this happen to you? Do you think you can’t go tomorrow? Do you think you’re taking it with you? Wake up, grow up and face reality. Make a will now, and don’t forget the equally necessary and important Health Directive or “Living Will” detailing your vital hospital choices. Maybe you think, ”No problem, I’ve told people what I want.” Sorry, they may be your nearest and dearest, but their “He/she told me” is meaningless. The nearest relative rules. Even your spouse might not follow your wishes if it isn’t written down. Recently, my relatives were saved from making painful decisions concerning a family member. Due to her clearly written instructions, there was no arguing, no family discussion and no guilt. We were all deeply grateful for her guidance. Other families are not so lucky. Horror stories abound of hospital fights between relatives and friends, each claiming to know the patient’s wishes. The same mess ensues when there is no will or a poorly made one. If you have a will, think about an update as you consider if those wishes still apply and the recipients, if alive, still worthy of your generosity. Actually, it can be rather fun enriching (or not) the people in your life and rather calming choosing your hospital treatment.
For assistance with these important legal documents, check with The Center for a referral or simply ask your friends. Protect the ones you love not only financially, but emotionally by saving them the terrible ordeal of having to make literally life/death decisions. In the long run, it is all about you, so get things the way you want them.
