About depression, addiction and suicide

The recent suicide of comedian Robin Williams focused a lot of attention and information on these three serious issues for a few days and then, as usual, it was onto the next major media story.

I don’t believe that there is anyone that does not know someone who has a drug/alcohol addiction or suffers depression or has tried or succeeded in committing suicide. These continue to be major issues in our GLBT community and in many ways continue to be swept under the rug.

Readers of this column know that I have always been upfront about my drug addiction and depression and as I get older my health and financial problems get bigger.

As for suicide, yes, to be honest it has entered my mind a few times this last decade but I never have tried it and hopefully never will.

But addiction and depression can be devastating. I spent a week in bed one time so depressed over health and financial problems. How did I, and do I, handle these three issues?

Everyone is different; for me it’s my religious faith and prayers. I have had counselling and most important of all loving and caring friends!

Without some of my close friends I believe I would still be on the streets homeless or, yes, dead by addiction or suicide. They know who they are and I thank God for them every day for they are my family and we watch over and care about each other and, yes, try to help anyone going through these problems.

My family was never ever close. As a child, I used to watch my dad beat my mom. My father went to his grave never really accepting me as a homosexual; my mom loves me and I love her and she has stood by me in a hospital in Hollywood a few times when I overdosed on drugs. When she can she tries to help me, but we hardly ever see each other or talk. I come from a family that really never hugged or kissed each other much or even said. “I love you” to each other. My gay brother and I were never close and I have not seen him in years and we really don’t talk at all.

So my chosen family is my friends in so many ways and I am blessed to have them. (I love you C.M.B.R.S.J.T.K.A.D.)

Today, as I write this column it is the one year anniversary of the death of my beloved friend and mentor Jose Julio Sarria and my beloved cat has been dead for about six days so, yes, I am very bummed out. But friends have been calling, emailing, texting me from all over the USA and Canada reaching out to me.

What I am trying to convey to all of you in this column is that caring friends can and do help people from being alone, depressed and, yes, suicidal. Trust me, I know. My friends in so many ways have saved my life just by caring and always reaching out to me.

And that’s what we all need to do. When you know someone who has a drug/alcohol addiction, depression, medical problems, no family, alone and without many friends, lost a family member, friend or pet, financial problems, etc. reach out to them, watch over them and let them simply know that you care and you are only a phone call away. While I am lucky, there are many people who do not have family, friends and are feeling alone.

Let me make it very clear that I am not an expert in these three areas, I am but telling you about my life experiences. None of us are experts in these areas and always do recommend that individuals get professional help and counselling. (The LGBT Community Center phone number is 619-692-2077. They have helped me in the past and they can help you.)

In closing, let me say that whoever you are, whatever you are going through help and truly caring people are only a phone call away. And with me, Nicole, the individual who personally knows what it is like to face these issues, feel free to call me at 619-692-1967. I promise if I am not in I will return your call and in the meantime, let’s watch out and care about one another.

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for more than 45 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last seven mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation.