The talent and variety shows currently monopolizing the TV screens are justifiably enjoyable and engaging to be sure, but have you noticed how many of the acts of our youth are missing? When was the last time you heard a marimba solo? Don’t you miss the accordionist’s anthem “Lady of Spain” or the “The Bell Song” from Lakmé screeched by an aspiring diva? Today’s generation finds mandolins and harmonicas as foreign as the once fashionable theremin (look it up, kids).
Good ventriloquists and comedians are still vying for stardom, but, for me, very few have the cleverness and impeccable delivery of Jonathan Winters, Flip Wilson, Phyllis Diller, etc. No one today is funnier or gayer than Paul Lynde and “Madame” with puppeteer Wayland Flowers. Where are the yodelers? The amazing whistlers? Not the bird imitators, although admired by many, but those who could stun us with classical favorites as could those clever artists with their musical saw. That’s right; an actual wood-cutting saw played with a violin bow. Ask any senior.
I am still not a fan of the acrobats and jugglers. Knowing how hard they practiced, I didn’t want to see them fail, but watch we all did. With only three channels (the education channel didn’t count) family entertainment ruled; nothing was too experimental or “adult,” so the talent/variety show fit the bill. Its popularity has had its ups and downs. It is currently on a high up due to the never-ending lure of a chance to become a star on national TV. How I would love to appear on such a show, but I can’t compete with the type of talent popular today. When the tide changes; however, I’ll be ready with my spoons and kazoo.
Make a list
While skimming through my cell phone’s “contacts,” it dawned on me I can no longer remember anyone’s phone number – including my own (I never call myself). No one keeps such numerical details in their head anymore. We just open a Web site and push buttons. I then thought of several other everyday activities which used to be part of our lives but which are now unknown in the world of the younger generation. I mentioned this to a bunch of fellow ancient kibitzers and we had fun making a list of things which used to be common knowledge or job-required skills but no longer have a place in the modern world.
Some examples: we could remember dozens of phone numbers, take shorthand, use a mimeograph machine, compute with a slide rule, write in script with complete sentences, put carbon paper in the right way (usually), cook without a microwave oven, iron a shirt, spell, darn a sock, waltz, sing folk songs at a hullabaloo, tie-dye a shirt, ride a bike without gears or a handbrake, use a library’s reference materials, realize a “two-holer” has nothing to do with golf, etc. We then increased our amusement with our LGBT memories and brought up some wild, outrageous and even down-right filthy (in the best sense of the word) suggestions dealing with police, secret bars, wild LSD experiments, tearooms and cottages, learning of “safe” friends/hotels/cruising areas when traveling, “Sent in a plain brown wrapper,” finding and trying on large-sized dresses/wigs/shoes, Boston marriages and so on and on.
Give it a try among your friends and see what you can add to the list, but don’t get too smug about it; remember, the LGBT youth can make a list which would puzzle, shock and befuddle you just as much.
