It’s not a legal holiday but it’s the busiest day of the year for restaurants and the second busiest time for florists. That’s Mother’s Day. Though mothers and motherhood have been celebrated for thousands of years, Mother’s Day as we know it began in the United States in the early 1900s; its first official presidential proclamation was by Woodrow Wilson exactly 100 years ago. The idea of this particular day then spread worldwide, where it is usually observed in spring.
Its singular focus on a person conjures up strong feelings and a myriad of memories, and with them, the idea of Mother’s Day being a time when moms are treated and pampered. So, we posed the question, “What do you plan to do for mom on Mother’s Day?” Besides, who does “celebration” better than our community?
Like many couples, Robert Bunyard and David Pearce have some traditions. They will take Robert’s mom to church and then the Coronado Marriott for brunch. Later in the day, it’s dinner with David’s mom at her house. Another practice that they will carry on, started by Robert’s late father years ago, is orchid corsages for everyone.
Mo McElroy’s sister and kids will be visiting, and together with Mo’s wife Lena, they will take mom to brunch at the Catamaran Hotel on Mission Bay. (Tip: Mo says “it’s probably the best Mother’s Day brunch in San Diego!”) There will be cards, gifts and the kids playing in the sand. Mo shared an enlightening perspective: “Because my mother and I are so close, we do activities, outings and dinners together pretty much every week. In that way, it’s kind of nice I don’t feel like I have to do a big thing for Mother’s Day to express to her how much I love her, because I show her all the time.”
Glenn, who shares a home with his mother in a small Midwest town, keeps Mother’s Day simple, which is how his mom likes it. Most years he creates a homemade card for her and the big tradition is treating her to dinner out, but not on Mother’s Day. They pick another day to avoid the crowds, because “it’s just so much more pleasant.” Since his mom is allergic to flowers, he plants impatiens in flower boxes outside for her to view and enjoy.
Jo Meyerhoff’s mother, Elaine, who she constantly called her “best friend,” passed in 2012. Last Mother’s Day Jo went to the cemetery, but it was crowded with people doing various activities. So, she goes when it is more quiet and peaceful. Per her mother’s wishes, Jo lives in the home in which both of her parents died and continues “to keep it beautiful.” That’s where she will be this Mother’s Day to honor her mom, reading from the Bible she gave her, feeling close to her spirit, thankful “for the gift of her love and friendship” and the faith she passed on to her.
Lin Holly’s mother has passed, too, but she shared that if she could spend Mother’s Day with her, “I’d take her to the Botanical Gardens because she loved flowers, especially roses. After that, we’d come home and I would cook her favorite meal for dinner.”
In past years, Mike Nieheisel of Murrieta, and his siblings, would take his mother to brunch the Saturday before Mother’s Day. This year, she is in a care facility and Mike, his husband Rob, and Mike’s family will join her in a Mother’s Day luncheon there. But one thing hasn’t changed, as he says, “I will be taking her fresh cut roses from my garden as usual.”
Certain themes resonate through most all of these responses: Food. Flowers. Fellowship. Family. Of course, we will find roses, fragrances, candy and brunch on any short list of Mother’s Day presents. Candles, soaps and note cards are not far behind. But in the LGBT community, we also have an impulse for the unique and different. So, I tried to think outside the box and came up with a few other gift ideas:
• Trial session at a yoga studio
• Gift certificate for a massage or, to splurge, a day at a spa
• Promissory ‘ticket’ to a future play or movie of mom’s choice
• Chauffeuring mom leisurely through the countryside or along the ocean
• Wind chime or hummingbird feeder
• A luxuriant comfort pillow
• A photo shoot of mom at a garden, park or scenic spot
• Designer sleeve or case for her iPad or tablet
• For the active mom, a stylish but practical water bottle
• Donation to a nature or social justice cause in mom’s name
• Crafts or other class that is “just fun” and offbeat
• Most anything handmade and handcrafted … by you
Many of us are familiar with creating a “family of choice,” especially when relationships with our biological family are strained or even non-existent. Let us not forget our mother figures, regardless of gender, who not only accept us, but nurture us, are there for us and give unconditional love. I always delight in surprising my “adopted mom,” Dolly, with a card so she knows her heartfelt place in my life. This year’s has a mother and baby giraffe and says, “You always stick your neck out for me.” It will be one of an estimated 133 million physical Mother’s Day cards generated. Along with countless emails, texts, posts and calls.
Regardless of the memories or significance Mother’s Day holds for each of us, one thing is certain: it’s all about “mom,” whoever that may be. If we have planted some seeds and thoughts to make Mother’s Day distinctive for someone special, know that you’ll be making it meaningful for yourself, as well.
