Mother’s day: much more than flowers and chocolates

For some, Mother’s Day is that day when you can’t avoid your mother’s phone call. In fact, you really have to call her or risk a lecture for the 364 other days of the year. You marvel at the marketing moms across the country have done because I mean, really, who knows when Father’s Day is?

In relation to other holidays Mother’s Day is actually relatively new, historically speaking, tracing its roots in the United States to 1908 when it was first created by Anna Jarvis, a woman who lost her own mother in 1905 and actually never became a mother herself. President Woodrow Wilson was the first president to sign a proclamation for Mother’s Day May 9, 1914.

What had begun as a holiday meant for families to honor their mothers quickly became commercialized around the giving of gifts, something that the holiday’s creator fought. Sadly, Anna Jarvis died penniless in a sanatorium and the holiday continued on as we know it.

In the LGBT community relationships with our parents can often be complicated, so we asked some of our readers to tell us what Mother’s Day means to them.

Kurt Cunningham shared a story of his loving mother, Lisa Cunningham, who was supportive and caring without condition.

“My mom really was my best friend,” Cunningham told San Diego LGBT Weekly. “My dad worked a lot when I was a kid so it was always me and my mom together all the time. Later in life the support she always gave me was beyond anything anyone could ever hope for. She would come to my drag shows, she was even on stage when I was crowned empress and I have a photo of that night in my drag album here. It has been less than a year since she died, but there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of her. I often have dreams that she is in, and I know that’s her way of coming to check on me.”

For some, Mother’s Day is more complicated. Acknowledging the great sacrifices of her mother, LGBT Weekly reader Esmeralda Anaya explained that her mother never accepted her orientation.

“My mother was a woman who sacrificed so much to ensure we were provided for and have a future she could only dream of,” said Anaya. “As immigrants, she said we must work twice as hard like we had something to prove. After coming out I felt I had to work twice as hard as my siblings for her love, to prove that my love was equal. As much as I tried to show her the similarities that exist in our struggles, we could never come to an understanding. It’s been almost two years since I’ve heard my mother’s voice and I fear I am almost forgetting what it sounds like. Nonetheless, I strive to make her proud and one day hope she acknowledges that love is love.”

Navy Veteran Cory Huston, dedicates Mother’s Day to his stepmother who raised him since he was 6 alongside her own biological children. Huston’s relationship with his biological mother was fraught with conflict and disapproval especially because of his sexual orientation.

“My stepmom raised me from the time I was 6 and I call her ‘Mom’ because she was the one I came home to everyday and she always tried ten times harder to make up for my biological mom’s bad motherhood,” Huston recalled.

Pride Card joint-owner and creator Bo Andras shared with LGBT Weekly that he always wondered what his life would have been like had he had more time with his mother. His mother, Beverly Guillot Andras, passed away of cancer when he was 8. He honors both his mother and his aunt, Linda Guillot, on Mother’s Day.

“I honor and remember my mom every day,” Andras shared with LGBT Weekly. “She passed away 35 years ago this upcoming December; a week before Christmas. I do treat and honor my aunt as my mother on Mother’s Day. She stepped in and raised me like her own and even though I never called her ‘Mom’ or even ‘Aunt Linda,’ I always called her by her first name because she was more than an aunt but never wanted to disrespect my mom by calling someone else ‘Mom.’”

For the LGBT community Mother’s Day is another day complicated by the relationships we have. But like any American, the day is about Mom, and for some that makes it either a really good day or a miserable one – but one that will likely touch us all in some way.