The first trick of the year

My Christmas/birthday brought a fine number of presents. Sadly, due to the perverse tastes of my circle most of them were more suitable for an ancient degenerate i.e. a dirty old man, than to me, but I’m sure the Christmas spirit was there, albeit well-disguised.

With the New Year I, like my Asian friends, put great store by the year’s “firsts,” that is, the first dream, letter received, person spoken to, etc. Naturally, this encompasses nailing one’s first trick.

My Japanese partner is visiting, so of course I was completely uninterested this year. However, as he seemed content to study various art films on the Internet, I succumbed to my friends’ entreaties and ventured forth – merely to observe the action.

We found a suitably crowded venue with lots of activity and, I confess, the old urges soon lured me into the game.

We all eyed each other as competitors not friends. Facing the reality of our ages, we knew what was required, skipped the chit chat and began the bidding. My friends were shameless; even discussing the pros and con of various rubbers! Not an environment for the shy newcomer.

Finally, after much hemming and hawing, I put my cards on the table and got my first trick, but not the one I wanted; a queen with flashing diamonds walked off with the top prize. That set badly with me, plus I didn’t want to be the dummy they wanted me to be, so I left; anxious to get back to my friend.

Having taken my first trick of the year, it seemed a waste of time to spend the rest of the afternoon playing bridge.

Assert yourself. Make decisions together

Somehow we survived the Mayan disaster prediction as we did 1984, the any-day-now Russian invasion, the end of the world prophecies and the warnings of the impending Rapture. New catastrophes are surely on the horizon. “Should I move to Nebraska? Build an underground shelter? Start a vegetable garden? What should I do?”

Don’t ask me. How the hell should I know! Furthermore don’t ask me what color to paint the kitchen, which dessert to order or if you should get a face tattoo.

After all these many years are you still one of those people unable to think and decide for yourself?

If one has a dominate partner, it is an easy pattern to get into and you sit back and let everything be decided for you.

This may be part of the domination “fun” amongst the slings, chains and masks (to each his /her own), but to carry this into the real world often means you as an individual disappear.

True, there are couples happy with this situation, but it distresses me to see the wasted potential of a person’s self.

Furthermore, practically speaking, it is a disaster if the dominate dies and the other doesn’t know where the will is or even if there is one or how to pay the electric bill. Partners should be in a 50-50 relationship in all the essential life matters.

One’s own personhood should not be subdued and smothered by someone else.

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