Thank you for all your positive comments on my and Stampp Corbin’s political and civil rights interview on both the KPBS radio and TV shows.
David Copley turned his back on HIV/AIDS and his gay community
When President Ronald Reagan died almost all of his good accomplishments were hailed and praised, but almost all of the media did not mention how he and his administration refused to do anything about the growing AIDS crisis.
Reagan never mentioned the word AIDS until six years into his administration and because of him thousands died and we lost eight years of valuable time when he purposely ignored this then-deadly health crisis.
But if Reagan has blood on his hands regarding the AIDS crisis then the late David Copley has it up to his neck.
The best kept secret in our city was that this man, who Forbes magazine put on their “America’s Richest List” worth $1.2 billion (yes, $1.2 billion!), was gay.
He wasn’t just gay, but just picture Divine with Donald Trump’s hair in a business suit.
I met him in the 970s and let’s say I provided him with a service … hmm, how can I put it … I was like “Dolly Levi” introducing him to Marines and other nice young men.
The media coverage about David’s recent death makes him out to be the most beloved philanthropist in our city who gave millions to the arts and animal shelters.
After reading all this I expect the Union-Tribune to petition the Pope for a Copley sainthood.
They talk about his unbelievable and glitz charity fundraisers at his estates. Honey, the infamous parties I went to at David’s were near wild orgies.
David, at times, could be seen drunk at the Caliph trying to meet nice young men and, of course, give them nice “party gifts.” (Good for him as he was clean and sober for the last decade.)
David loved visiting Monte Carlo and going to Europe and would often call and ask me about private, discreet bathhouses and gay clubs.
David Copley led a double life and the media’s obituaries call him a “confirmed bachelor.” Oh please, he had a few lovers/partners that he kept privately.
The Reader magazine “outed” David when they ran a story about David and me, and a fight we had. The news article was entitled “The Queen who Slayed the Copley Press.” It was written by Paul Krueger who is now the senior producer of NBC News in San Diego.
David and I parted ways (I threw a drink in his face) over his refusal to help his gay brothers who were dying of AIDS. His paper was very anti-gay and even ran a political cartoon of three skeleton men in a hot tub inferring that AIDS came from men at bathhouses.
In the early dark years of AIDS no one would help us. We could mostly count on our bars, lesbian drag show fundraisers, leather community, Democratic Club and The Center. The F St. Corp. gave the AIDS Assistance Fund a total of 00 during our first years. (I was the founder/president.) The bathhouses of Vulcan and Club San Diego (Frank Stirriti and Darl Edwards) printed our first AIDS education materials.
David Copley refused to help and told me people would know he was gay.
I said to him, “Yeah, just like no one in San Diego knows that Richard Simmons is gay.”
David refused to help our community when police were beating the shit out of us and raiding our clubs in the 970s. I begged him to help us and our AIDS food bank and it was always “no,” no matter who asked him.
Yes, this big ole queen gave $6 million to UCLA’s costume design program but nothing to clothe and feed his dying brothers. Yet he gave millions to animal shelters.
So I say, praise David Copley if you must for all he did for the arts and culture, but he stood silently by during our early gay rights struggles and AIDS crisis.
May God forgive him and may he rest in peace – but I will never forgive him.
My own past street life and drug addiction has always been a matter of public record and many media articles. I have no problem talking about David and his secret life and I haven’t touched on near half of David’s real other secret lifestyle. It will all be in my book.
Being Alive should take over Auntie Helen’s
First of all, I was a good friend of Gary Cheatham but the recent media investigation concerning Auntie Helen’s is no surprise to many of us. After Gary died Auntie Helen’s wasn’t ever the same.
I say God bless all the wonderful good-hearted volunteers and supporters of Auntie Helen’s, but many “directors” have used this agency for their own gain for years.
At times they had three paid staff members for a laundry service where volunteers did the work. Auntie Helen’s in its heyday had 800 clients – now they have 87.
Michael Dudley has always been a controversial figure in our community and his using an Auntie Helen’s credit card to buy lavish meals, things for his car, inflight movies … Dudley even used this non-profit credit card at a gambling casino in Florida!
Bravo to bookkeeper Hank Ivey who raised his voice over this disgusting use of HIV/AIDS money. Because Ivey raised his voice he was fired by the board.
I and many know that at times beautiful and expensive items were donated to Auntie Helen’s thrift store only to end up in the homes of some staff members and board members.
The entire Auntie Helen’s board and staff need to resign and I have called upon government officials to launch an official investigation.
I believe that Being Alive could easily take over Auntie Helen’s before they blow the $158,339 that heiress Joan Kroc left them.
Last year Auntie Helen’s reported a revenue of $164,442 against $232,008 in expenses which included 00 to get Michael Dudley’s teeth nice and pretty.
It’s time our community raised its voice. The Imperial Court de San Diego long ago stopped giving contributions to Auntie Helen’s.
I salute the Union-Tribune and their charity watchdog for reporting this scandal.
Christmas Wreath Auction: Dec. 3
The fabulous people at Martinis Above Fourth will be holding one of their most fun and popular events that draws hundreds, this coming Monday. Their annual Christmas Wreath Auction which all goes to the Eddie Conlon Youth Fund that helps hundreds of children and GLBT youth in need.
Please attend this coming Monday night Dec. 3 from 7:30 p.m.-midnight. Stop by after Mayor Filner’s inauguration neighborhood celebration at The Center from 6:30-8:30 p.m.
See you at both events!
Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for well over 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last five mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com
Your article is beyond disgusting. It’s fine that you want to out yourself as a drug user, whore and gossip- but what gives you the right to judge someone else for how they spend or donate their money to any cause, let alone print this garbage? It was his money and his to spend how he saw fit. Your no saint, your self fulfilling and you have no problem using people to promote your own agenda. I just find it below any level of decorum to spin a story based upon someone’s private life, stooping to a level of sharing intimate details that have nothing to do with his financials, his professional background and whether true or not is completely inappropriate. And if the man was sober for ten years and you proclaim to be a former drug addict, isn’t it the cardinal rule in sobriety to never discuss someone’s recovery in a public forum, hence the word “anonymous” in addiction programs. This is really new low for you. Perhaps something closer to the truth is he refused to pay your bills and buy you gifts any longer, hence the drink in the face. Always amazing who the new sucker in town is to drive you around and cater to you, so I think your “book” should focus more on your mishaps, not those of others. Never understood why you are involved in so much because you are completely transparent and I just think most people are afraid to tell you no because of the drama you cause. Your loud, obnoxious and self centered. I’ll credit you for your involvement in civil rights, but you have way to many self-fulfilling prophecies
The character assassination of a deceased man is absolutely despicable.
Nicole admits to being a pimp in this story and should be arrested.
LGBTWeekly, dump this columnist or lose many readers and credibility as a news source.
Well all I have to say is that people can do what they want with thier money, and, who am I to judge, and, if his cup of tea was young studs and he wanted to keep it private, his right, as long as they are not doing gay bashing, I really don’t care.
But still love your weekly column!
Nicole
I think you sound like a real loser. I read the article where you outed him and was irritated enough at your attitude in that article. Do you think gay people with AIDS are anymore special than people with cancer or who are blind? He might not have donated any money to the American Cancer Society either. But, those people are not slanderizing him the way you are. Please just stop it.
Nicole does have the right to an opinion and share experiences in “HIS COLUMN.” If people do not like it, simply don’t read it. We are blessed to live in a country where we were given the freedom of speech, not to mention the freedom of choice bestowed upon us by our creator. I will say however if someone is going to bash another in a format such as this, have the courage to sign your name to your comments!
Ms. Ramirez-Murray,
Thank you for putting in print what many in the community had know for years but only whispered in private company about that bloated closeted hedonist Billionaire David Copley.
I am shockled to hear all this grousing about character assassination, breaking the sanctity of recovery and other hot air about your expose of what a complete phony, alcoholic and closeted gay man David Copley was.
These reactions must be by readers who either had their heads in the sand in the insular and provincial Gay Ghetto, or are recent arrivals to the scene in San Diego and no nothing about the local social scene outside of the bar stool next to them at Mo’s.
The reason not many people knew of David Copley’s alcohol and sex binges were the stringent efforts of then Copley security chief,former Chief of Police then County Sheriff Bill Kolender, to keep his multiple DUIs and flagrant behavior out of the public eye. His death at the wheel of his car was not the first time he had wrecked an Aston Martin mere blocks from his home. He published a mea culpa Op-Ed in 2002 after his 3rd known DUI.
While working as a bartender at an exclusive venue in La Jolla I often served Copley, his mother and then former Mayor Maureen O’Connor. Maureen always drank only Diet Coke, the Copleys inhaled Dewars Scotch to the point of being barely conversational. He did once foolishly tell me he wanted an un-named local TV newscaster to be the mother of his children, like that was at all believable for one second.
Copley may have done much charitable giving to many local cultural institutions that bear his name, but to my knowledge despite his groupies Judith Harris and Dr. David Singer having been very generous to many Gay and HIV charities, but David didn’t give one thin dime to any worthy Gay or HIV charity, at least in his name publicly.
To protect such a phony dead or alive would just be an insult to sobriety, our community and the facts of the matter. To hear him praised as such a “Gentle Soul” is so cloyingly fabricated as to make one nauseous.
I applaud your honesty about your procuring sexual favors and other substance abuse issues shared with Copley. Your behavior in those days was no big secret either, so I do not understand all the high and mighty reactions from readers.
You have faced up to your past behaviors and David Copley went to his grave without facing his, and leaving the local gay community the short end of the stick with his pathetic closeted lifestyle.
I didnt think I’d ever compliment you, but thank you Nicole, Job well done.
Now all we need to do is expose Carl Deamio for the gay phony he is with the truth about his “Parties with Young supporters” in the home of Clairemont friend!
Thank You
Nicole has been a leader in our community for going on 50 years! He is controversial, colorful
but very committed to our civil rights. While I don’t agree at times with his style and very blunt
columns, we all know everyone has been reading them since the early 1970’s.
I don’t know if “Nicole” is his real name or if he is really a man or a “transgender” but i do know
he has done the following:
•
Co-founder of our first Pride March,
•
Got us our Harvey Milk Street
•
Founded the LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor
•
Started the the Center’s Gala
•
Founded the AIDS Food Bank
•
Started the Children’s Easter Egg Hunt and Toy Drives, the list is endless
Nicole has been on of the most powerful and influential gay political voices in our city, state, and
nation. Tough I don’t like his support and loyalty to so many Republican officials. Hell his idols
are Richard Nixon and Eva Peron!! But this old aging queen gets the job done and has been there
for us, leading the fight against Anita Bryant, John Briggs and others.
The Hillcrest Guide was right when it wrote that Nicole is one of our communities best orators
(thought I didn’t care for the article showing Governor Arnold and Nicole so chubby)
Nicole has made me proud, angry and yes cry at the many memorials and protests during the
1980’s AIDS crisis. It was Nicole who broke the story about Appel Productions raising about
$120,000 for AIDS benefits but only giving about 15% at times to the AIDS Agency. It was
Nicole who broke the story about our Gay Pride Executive getting over $20,000 in bonus and the
Pride Board’s decision to purchase a million dollar office building without any community input
and the Pride President receiving a $5,000 bonus.
As for David Copley, he never gave a dime to help us and his
newspaper’s editorials went against AIDS and LGBT civil rights legislation.
I can never figure out his relationship with Carl DeMaio, who he shoved down our throats and
introduced him to our community and they were line mother and son until Carl’s true Tea Party
Republican stands came out.
So today December 3rd is Nicole’s Birthday. He will probably not be around much longer and
we will not have him to kick around every week and read what he has to say.
The facts are that Nicole has raised millions for countless charities, organizations, civil and
political causes.
All in all Nicole is our very own “Major Celebrity”, “Gay Mayor”, and “Queen of Queens.”
But not one can ever take away all the decades of service and leadership on the national, state
and local scenes.
I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ll miss the old queen when he/she is gone. It
sure will be a lot more boring around here.
It’s grossly unfair to disrespect a dead man who never wanted to be a leader or to represent any community. Holding him accountable in the same vein as Ronald Reagan is ridiculous… David never ran for public office.
Did he waste his fortune?- yes.
Did he make a difference?- not really.
Could his life have been one that was happier and more authentic- yes. And we should pity him for that and leave it alone.
Bitchy gossip about rent boys does not make him culpable for the AIDS epidemic.
Nicole, Didnt you write a few months back that your columns were to harsh and negative and you were going to change the mood of your columns? That did not last too long
I worked for David Copley for 3 years (2009-2012) on his yacht and he was NOT clean and sober. I had poured him many a drink over that time period and also had the pleasure of consuming them with him. He definitely overused Adderall and had “skinny people disease.”