Happy New Year! The New Year’s Eve festivities reminded me of when it was obligatory for gays and lesbians of my era to not just attend New Year’s Eve parties, important school dances and formal proms, but horror of horrors, show up with a date of the opposite sex!
These ordeals started with a push from parents and friends all demanding to know who we were taking to the dance. Then followed the mad scramble to find someone to ask; not just anyone, but someone still unasked, yet mildly popular, and good-looking enough to protect one’s reputation. Finally and most importantly, the person must not be expecting or demanding sex in any shape or form; at least no more than first base or, if pushed, second. Anything further could not even be contemplated.
With many people in attendance, the gym, gorgeously festooned with crepe streamers and sparkling stars, provided a place and opportunity to secretly observe the guy or gal we wished we could dance with. Today such wishes are reality in some schools, but back then we did what was expected and hoped it was enough to thwart the rumormongers.
An assumed part of the evening was the much anticipated (by the studs) “necking.” With dread and foreboding I drove my panting companion to the town’s official secret spot. I remember kissing with lips tight as clam shells and sneaking looks at my watch, praying for the hand to move faster until finally, “Oh my, look at the time. 11:40 already!” To her home in a flash, the mandatory goodnight kiss at the door, then a dash to the car, home and safety – virginity intact.
My lesbian friends endured the above with the extra trouble of preventing the date, who had spent big money on the tickets, tux rental, corsage, etc. from trying to get something in return for his expenses, i.e. beyond first or second. By the way, do young people know what I’m talking about?
Stressful as these events were, today we receive a great deal of pleasure from looking at the photos and smiling at the funny hair cuts, the long dresses and corsages, the suits and ties. If you haven’t looked at your photos for a while, you should. Great memories await you. By the way, what will happen to them? Think about it; especially the family photos which someone may want.
Back to the proms. Today there are reports of gays and lesbians not just attending proms, but being elected king and queen. Sadly, this great news is accompanied by the inevitable anti-gay hysteria, threats of lawsuits, name calling and in one case the absurdity of canceling the whole event merely to keep out one same-sex couple.
To end on a happier note, the widespread backlash criticizing such actions and the school administrators encourages us to hope this support for the couple will extend to further causes for equality for all, inside and outside the ballroom.
