San Diego lost part of its heart and soul with the passing of John Laird in late August, a long-time activist, volunteer and the 21st emperor of the Imperial Court of San Diego County.
Laird endured several ailments after suffering a heart attack in 2006, while climbing stairs at The San Diego LGBT Community Center, where he served for many years as a board member.
“John was active in the community from the moment he arrived here in 1981,” said Aaron Borovoy, Laird’s partner of 28 years. “He strove to stay active even on days when he needed me to get him around in a wheelchair.”
In February, Laird underwent an experimental surgery. After the operation, there was a complication removing him from a heart-lung monitor, which further compromised Laird’s health. It was only a matter of months after that incident that Borovoy was caring for his husband, who by then was receiving so-called “comfort care,” which one University of California medical school describes as, “An approach to care of the dying that emphasizes relief of discomfort rather than the curing of illness or prolongation of life, involving high-dose pain medication and special attention to emotional issues.”
“It wasn’t a surprise; and it was time,” Borovoy said. “But, there was still – is still – some sadness … but there’s also joy that John is no longer suffering.”
Borovoy told San Diego LGBT Weekly that his late husband told him “it was time” and that he just didn’t want to keep fighting health problems not long before his passing Aug. 24.
The couple met in 1983 at a local gay bar.
“He wasn’t really my type, but I was a little hairier than he liked,” Borovoy said with a far-away grin in an interview only days after losing the man he called “his one true love.”
“He was so active in so many causes,” Borovoy said. “In addition to the Imperial Court, which put him on the frontlines of many LGBT and other causes. In fact, it was during his reign that the Toni Atkins Lesbian Health Fund was established.”
But in his early life, service of a different kind was Laird’s passion.
“He loved the Marine Corps,” Borovoy said. “He would have made a career of it if he had been able.”
Unfortunately, Laird was discharged from the Marines for being gay. After that he married, but divorced in the early 1980s and moved from Pennsylvania to San Diego. Although Laird was extremely happy to be himself here, he missed his two daughters, Josie and Stephanie immensely, Borovoy said.
Then, out of the blue, on his 50th birthday, he got a call from one of the daughters, after more than 15 years of not seeing or speaking to either.
“It was the best gift he ever got.”
A list of some of his civic work in San Diego compiled by The Center includes work on behalf of the Lesbian Health Project Pink Ribbon Campaign, service as chairman of Toys for Kids, the Nicky Awards Board of Governors, the AIDS Memorial Task Force, the Grocery Hearts Food Pantry, the San Diego Rescue Mission Women and Children’s Center, The Storefront, Standdown for Vietnam Veterans, The Interfaith Shelter Project and many others.
“John was a devout Christian,” Borovoy said. “But he was very comfortable at the synagogue I am a member of – Temple Emanu-El. Without John, I’m not sure the temple would have become the first Jewish organization to march in the Pride Parade.”
A celebration of John Laird’s life will be held Sunday, Sept. 18 from 2 to 4 p.m. at the San Diego LGBT Community Center (3909 Centre St. in Hillcrest).
