It’s funny, or rather it’s queer, that the summer TV season is always derided for lacking the same punch as its fall through spring counterparts. While that may be the case, it’s the season that brings us the shudder-inducing Toddlers and Tiaras, there is actually a plethora of pink-themed shows, which are the equivalent of providing viewers with the just-as-effective bitch slap of quality programming.
In essence, it’s a time for those of us who opt to stay out of the sun, purely for health benefits or from fear of looking like one of those Jersey Shore tangerines, to revel in the warm glow of familiarity on the small screen. But, it’s the time of year when we can shout out, “I want my gay TV,” and actually have the proclamation be heard loud and queer.
Here’s a looksie at what shows have us in mind for the doggie style days of summer.
Summer by Bravo
Suffice to say, Bravo definitely knows its target audience – how else can you explain them using the new Britney Spears single “I Wanna Go” to highlight their Summer by Bravo promos? I didn’t realize so many teenage girls enjoy their programs. Oh wait, I meant gay men. Same difference, really.
The cable network has its fair share of returning favorites, and a few new offerings, to light up the summer nights more effectively than 100 campfires combined.
First up, Flipping Out and its star, Jeff Lewis, returns to answer that musical question, “You down with OCD?” Yeah you know me, and by now you should also be familiar with Lewis’ special brand of dealing with his employees (Who ordered the verbal lashings for lunch?). The show continues with its focus on his design business, since the real estate market is mushier than Hugh Hefner’s dietary needs, and in the first episode he attempts to teach them to be female dogs, err, bitches. Wednesdays at 9 p.m.
The Rachel Zoe Project is back for its fourth season, with its look at how the fashionista manages to balance career, home and family. What’s that, you didn’t know that the uber skinny Zoe was even pregnant? It’s an easy mistake to make, since it just looked like she had a big lunch. Begins Aug. 2 at 9 p.m.
A quartet (that means four people) of the helpful haute couture specialists at New York City’s consignment shop, The Second Time Around, cater to a demanding clientele on a weekly basis. Maybe well-dressed, ahem, movie star Sharon Stone is on their roster and will make an appearance. It’s not like she’s busy or anything. But, the store’s team of Kara Lepiner, Amber Miscia, Tara Muscarella and Wilson Payamps will be up to their eyeballs in making fashion dreams a reality. Begins Aug. 2 at 10:30 p.m.
Rocco’s Dinner Party caters to viewers who like their food shows with an extra helping of eye candy, as its handsome host Rocco DiSpirito dishes on meals concocted by three chefs who feed his celebrity guests, like Liza Minnelli. Did they have to remind her that pills aren’t an after dinner mint? Wednesdays at 10 p.m.
It goes without saying that the Real Housewives franchise has quite a loyal LGBT following. How else can you explain New York City house frau Sonja Morgan’s bold declaration that she is a gay icon?
While NYC is close to wrapping up its latest installment, the third season of New Jersey is minus Danielle “prostitution whore” Staub, and is upping the ante with a family feud between Teresa “table flipper” Giudice, her brother Joey “I-have-worn-my-wife’s-dresses-in-two-episodes-now” Gorga, and his wife Melissa “Why-are-my-dresses-all-stretched-out” Gorga. Sundays at 10 pm.
And keep your peepers open for a TBA double header as Bravo gets its love connection on with Millionaire Matchmaker and Most Eligible: Dallas. And you know what they say about Texas, and everything being bigger in it, so expect the show to draw a very loyal size queen following.
Livin’ La Vida Logo
RuPaul’s Drag U is in its second season of helping “biological women” receive the gift of beauty from their drag queen fairy godmothers, although their wands are tucked away for good measure. And this year, more alumni from RuPaul’s Drag Race, including Bebe Zahara Benet (season 1), Tyra Sanchez (season 2), as well as season 3 favorites Manila Luzon, Mariah and Carmen Carrera will be judged by Lynda Carter, Shirley Jones, Molly Ringwald, Carnie Wilson and Charo. Coochi, coochi, indeed! Mondays at 9 p.m.
The A-List: New York is back for a second season of drama with a capital A, as in pot stirring cast member Austin Armacost (and yes I know drama would be spelled with a capital D). This year, the estrogen quotient is enabled by an actual lady person, Nyasha Zimucha, who is the CEO of a hair and wig accessories company. That should come in handy if Tina Turner happens by.
The sophomore season will feature the ongoing status of Reichen Lehmkuhl and Rodiney Santiago’s relationship, Ryan Nicklaus and his hubby attempting to adopt a child, Derek Saathoff taking on a new business venture, Armacost doing what he does best by creating tension, Mike Ruiz being the calm in the middle of the storm and Ryan’s sidekick TJ Kelly’s always colorful commentary on all of the above. Gurl! Begins Monday, July 25 at 10 p.m.
Cut. Print. That’s a wrap!
So, when it’s hot out, there is a way to beat the heat; just crank up the A/C and exercise your remote control issues with these examples of another type of summer camp. Until next time, that’s all of the news that’s fit to print.
