Some of you remember Lent as giving up chocolate and fish on Fridays; others of you have never even heard of the word (except that it sounds like something you clean from your dryer). Here we are – in the season of Lent – the 40 days from Ash Wednesday to Easter. In my column at this time, I am going through a series of practices that enhance/deepen our spirituality. In these practices, it’s not about what we are giving up, but more about what can we add in our lives to increase our spiritual enlightenment.
This issue, I’d like to talk about two more spiritual practices that are not made easy in our culture. However, these two spiritual practices have the potential to produce incredible freedom from insecurity – freedom from emotional, spiritual and material insecurity.
Let’s start by talking about sacrifice. Oh, what a fun topic! The sacrifice I’d like to talk about is two-fold: 1) finding security in God; and 2) finding freedom from material insecurity. We practice sacrifice to give up our self-security and find security in God.
Sacrifice is not the same as frugality. Last issue, we talked about frugality being about giving up things that are extras, luxuries and other indifferent things. In the practice of sacrifice, we go further. We give until it hurts.
The practice of sacrifice is giving up the security of meeting our own needs with our own resources. It’s about putting our trust in God as the provider. It’s, as Dallas Willard put it, “total abandonment to God, a stepping into the (great) abyss in the faith and hope that God will bear us up.”
The practice of sacrifice puts us way outside of our comfort zone, into that place where we have to trust the resources of God. Do this wisely. In some cases, this may involve financial sacrifice. However, we must meet our normal financial obligations first. Sacrifice doesn’t mean that we’re to become irresponsible.
Sacrifice isn’t only concerned with money. Sacrifice may involve giving up your time, sleep, coat or career. The practice of sacrifice helps us to find security somewhere other than our own resources and our own relationships. When we sacrifice, we discover a freedom! A security!
So the question is: What is the source of your security? Who is the source of your security? Examine your life. Only you can answer that question. See? Sacrifice doesn’t have to be a scary word, after all.
What about secrecy? Secrecy is finding security in God and freedom from a game that many people play their entire lives … the approval game.
Think about all the things we do just so that people will recognize us, appreciate us and admire us.
Jesus said, “Don’t do your good deeds publicly in order to be admired, but do them in secret.” The discipline of secrecy cuts to the heart of why we do the things we do.
Do we help others so we’ll be admired for our selflessness? Do we give of our time and money so that we’ll be thought of as generous?
When we do these good deeds, most of the time people will notice them. That’s good and fine. The question is about our motivation. Do we do the things we do in order to be admired, respected and applauded? Are we caught up in the approval game?
So, how do you know if you’re caught up in the approval game? Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
Do I ever feel disappointed when nobody notices my efforts?
Do I ever get upset when someone else gets the credit for my idea?
Do I ever find myself doing something so someone will think I’m smart?
Do I ever sulk when my past achievements are forgotten or ignored?
Do I ever get upset when no one says, “Thank you?”
In practicing secrecy, we find the security of knowing that our value doesn’t come from the conditional approval of other people, but in the unconditional love from God to us.
There are times when we will want to be anonymous in our gifts, but we might not always be able to pull it off. That’s OK. We’re not practicing secrecy for the sake of secrecy, but to free us from the approval game.
Secrecy frees us to love others freely, not just so they love us back, but to love and expect nothing in return. We’re able to love others out of the infinite love we receive from God. Secrecy also frees us from conditional, tit-for-tat relationships and into a life of generosity and compassion.
Secrecy frees us to serve with true humility. We accept recognition and praise – but we don’t need it. If we don’t get recognition, then it doesn’t matter. We didn’t look for it in the first place, so we’re not upset.
I’ve heard this true story. Someone standing in line at Starbucks decided to pay for the cup of coffee for the person behind them. They were so pleasantly surprised, they decided to do it for the person behind them. It went on for about 15 people! How fun to pay it forward.
How about sending an unsigned card of love or encouragement?
Or sponsoring someone for a trip or a meal, without them knowing it came from you?
Or go into your room, close the door behind you and pray. Pray for your family, for your community, for your friends. For people you don’t know – pray it forward!
PS: You are invited to join us for our Celebration Choir presentation of the Living Last Supper in song and drama, April 16 at 7 p.m. and April 17 at 5 p.m. Freewill offering received.
Rev. Dan Koeshall is the Senior Pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met) in San Diego, California, themetchurch.org
