To quote a Cole Porter song, birds do it, bees do it, and “I’ve heard that lizards and frogs do it.” It’s springtime and the boys and girls are feeling a little frisky. Just like everything in our community, our language is quite colorful – and when it comes to topics of sex, the words come in all shades of tone. So before you put your thingy in the wrong whatzit, brush up on your lovemaking slang.
Accidental: When someone engages in homosexual sex due to the absence of a heterosexual partner. Most common among the military or in prisons. Accidental? Yeah, that’s their story, and they are sticking to it.
Bareback: Intercourse without using a condom. Still commonly practiced, it is widely considered taboo since it is the main method to contract sexually transmitted diseases.
Bathhouse: Where men can go to have anonymous sex in a sauna atmosphere. Originally, a bathhouse was not exclusively for men, but a social place for all genders and all sexual orientations to come and have a little fun together. Bette Midler got her start singing at the famous Continental Baths in New York City in the early 1970s, where she earned the nickname Bathhouse Betty.
Bi-curious: A heterosexual, but has thoughts about – and sometimes acts on – homosexual sex.
Bisexual: Attraction to both genders, both emotionally and sexually, without being partial to either one.
Bottom: A person who prefers to be penetrated, rather than doing the penetration. Bottoms cover a broad spectrum, from the aggressive (power bottom) to the submissive (nellie bottom).
Butch: A more masculine or dominating figure in a lesbian relationship, but can also be used to describe a macho gay male.
Condoms: A device used to cover the penis during intercourse to prevent the spread of semen and contracting various sexually transmitted diseases. Also known as a rubber, raincoat or joy sock.
Cross Dressing: Wearing clothes that are for the opposite gender.
Cruising: A person driving or walking in order to find a sex partner.
Cyber sex: Log on. Get off. Engaging in sexual gratification through use of the Internet. Cyber, for short, requires both a vivid imagination and the ability to type with one hand.
Daisy Chain: When three or more people engage in sex at the same time, in a chain-like appearance.
Domination: Having control or authority over persons, things or situations.
Double penetration: Shortened DP, being penetrated by two penises at one time. It’s a two-for-one special.
Douching: Injects a stream of liquid into the anus, usually with the purpose of cleaning. Also known as an enema.
Dungeon: A special place, usually in a basement, that is equipped to provide the necessary tools to engage in assorted sexual activity, based on BDSM play.
Dyke: A more masculine woman who is a lesbian, who is considered to be more ‘like a man’ than some men.
Erogenous zones: An area of the body that has heightened sensitivity, and may create erotic sensations or sexual excitement when stimulated. Aside from the obvious sexual organs, these zones can include the ears, neck, arm pits, nipples and even feet. If you find one of these buttons, as they are sometimes called, then just keeping pushing.
Escorts: Yeah, you are just paying for time! Right? Escorts are paid for the company, but usually includes – if not exclusively – some sexual activities.
Exhibitionists: People who enjoy showing parts – or all – of their body in public. A local hangout for exhibitionists is San Diego Black’s Beach, reportedly one of the nation’s largest nude beaches.
59: Typically a term used by lesbians for mutual oral stimulation.
Fingering: Hey, everyone can do this one! The sexual act of inserting a finger – or multiple fingers – into the rectum.
Fisting: An extreme form of Fingering, Fisting is inserting an entire hand (or more) into the rectum. While it is more popular among gay men, certainly there are heterosexual couples and lesbians who are fisting lovers. Also goes by the name Handballing.
Foreplay: Engaging in the sexual arousal of another, prior to actually engaging in penetrative sex or in achieving an orgasm.
Gang bang: A spin-off of group sex, a gang bang is where several people perform the same sexual acts to only one person.
Glory hole: The hole in a partition or wall that allows one to stick their penis through for anonymous sex with another. Just as popular with the heteros.
Group sex: Two’s company. Three’s a crowd. Four (or more) is a group! Group sex is where several people are involved in engaging in sexual activity with each other.
Hanky code: A way a person indicates whether they are a top or bottom, and what kind of sex they are seeking by wearing color-coded handkerchiefs in the back pocket (or around the belt loop). Left for tops; right for bottoms. There are more than 50 different kinds of hankies, covering basic colors to patterns.
Interracial: The physical attraction – sometimes bordering on fetishism – for other ethnic races different from your own.
Jail bait: Slang for an under-aged partner. Check ID, or you’ll go to jail!
Jockey: The dominant partner in a lesbian relationship.
Kinky: Sex that is considered not average with added activities included that make it more naughty. Opposite of vanilla; not as extreme as raunchy.
Knismolagnia: Tee hee! Sexual gratification by tickling another person.
Lube or lubricant: Slippery substance used to enhance penetration or allows for ease of masturbation.
Masturbation: Home alone? Masturbation is self stimulation of your own sexual genitals, to the point of achieving an orgasm. Goes by other colorful terms, like whacking, waxing, knitting, polishing, jerking, jacking … oh, you get the idea.
Neapolitan sex: Someone who enjoys plain vanilla sex, but also dabbles in kinkier sexual activities.
NSA: No strings attached. Anonymous sex.
One-night stand: A sexual encounter lasting no longer than the one time without emotional involvement.
Oral sex: Technically known as fellatio, oral sex is … well … oral sex. It’s stimulating a partner’s private parts with your mouth. More commonly known as a blow job.
Orgy: See group sex, and then add a few more people.
Party: No balloons and hats here. Partying refers to recreational drug use. The drug of choice is typically methamphetamine, known as crystal or Tina. Party and Play (PnP) is sex while under the influence of drugs.
Penis: Every gay guy knows what this is, and we assume lesbians have even heard of them. They come in all shapes and sizes, and have just as many descriptive words: cock, key, dong, English sentry, ramrod, joy knob, one-eyed snake, tally-whacker, love missile, beef bayonet, sword, little soldier, baloney poney, the other head, power drill, magic wand, joystick, jack hammer, sausage, jack-in-the-box, long john silver, and the list goes on and on. Guys will even give a proper name to their penis.
Pegging: Anal sex with one person – usually a female – wearing a strap-on dildo.
Pervert: Someone who acts out of the accepted norms, usually in relation to sexual activity. If you read this far, then you probably are one.
Pillow talk: Ahh! Playful chat couples have after sexual activities as sort of recap of the action.
Polyfidelity: A group bound together, where all parties are primary members, engaged in sex only with those within the group.
Poppers: Slang for a variety of alkyl nitrites, particularly amyl nitrite. Available over-the-counter, poppers come in small bottles that allow users to inhale the vapors. Poppers cause blood vessels to dilate, which drops blood pressure and increases heart rate; as a result, users experience a flush feeling and increased sexual arousal.
Pumping: A suction device on the penis to enlarge it.
Quickie: Having a quick sexual encounter. No foreplay – just wham, bam, thank you sir!
Raunch: Types of sexual play that are considered dirtier than other kinds of sex.
Refractory period: Technical term defining the time required for one’s body to replenish itself of semen.
Rimming: Oral contact with the anus. Technically known as analingus; also goes by reaming.
69: Simultaneous oral sex. The reference is that the numerals 6 and 9 are inverted versions of each other, reflecting the physical position that the couple must adopt when engaged in this sexual practice. Could be complicated for couples of extreme height differences.
Safe sex: Having sexual relations where the risk of infection and/or transmission of disease is dramatically reduced by various procedures or actions.
Safe word: Word or series of words or signals used to advise the dominant of the needs of the bottom – like “stop!”
Scat: This one is a little sticky. Sexual play involving human feces, from decorative to ingestion.
Serodiscordant: Term used to describe two people, where one tests positive for HIV and the other tests negative, and they are sexually active with each other.
Sexually transmitted disease (STD): With all this fun, there is also the chance of transmitting a disease that can only or primarily be transmitted through sexual contact. This can include Chlamydia, Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis, Syphilis and more. It can be a simple as public lice (crabs) or as devastating as HIV/AIDS. This topic can cover several pages, so know the risks and take the necessary steps to protect you and your partner.
Snowballing: The practice of swapping semen orally.
Submission: Submission refers to giving control or authority to another person.
Sugar daddy: An older man who provides monetary support to a younger person in return for sex.
Talking dirty: Technically known as narratophilia, this is when using vulgar conversation while engaging in sexual activities.
Tea room: No crumpets here. This is slang for a public restroom where you can cruise for random sex. It’s not necessarily legal, as pop star George Michael found out – although he might have called it Cottaging, the British slang term.
Threesomes: Sex among three distinct partners at the same time.
Top: A person who prefers to be the one penetrating their partner, rather than being penetrated.
Transgender: A person who exhibits the physical traits of one gender, but feels they are of the opposite sex, emotionally and internally.
Trolling: A slang term, where the purpose is simply to have sex, not develop relationships.
U haul: Humorous term to describe a lesbian who is always in love, out of love.
Vagina: Enjoyed by many lesbian women; feared by many gay men. Has been called bearded clam, oyster, beaver, box, tail feathers, quiver, among other slang phrases. Lesbians are more open to talk about their privates, compared to their gay counterparts, and even has a play dedicated to its glory: The Vagina Monologues, penned by Eve Ensler.
Vanilla sex: A common term for conventional sex, in which no kink is involved. Generally involves oral sex, and basic intercourse, in heterosexual relations. Homosexuals usually consider it to not include any type of anal penetration.
Versatile: A person who doesn’t have a preference for receiving or giving. One who can enjoy being penetrated, or in penetrating another.
Voyeurism: Achieving sexual arousal from the watching of others in an intimate situation – without their knowledge.
Watersports: No pool required here. Watersports describes sexual play involving urine.
Source: A couple of weeks searching the Internet, and trying not to be too distracted from all the video ads popping up.
