Who I am and what I like

The Jager models and I having a blast at The Barracks.

“There are those relationships that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

As you can tell I have been watching a lot of the good old TV shows, like Sex and the City and AbFab. Our editor asked me to come up with something that describes who I am or something about me … so here we go. “Yeah, I am harsh. I am also demanding, stubborn, self-sufficient and always right.” And here are some of my favorite quotes from Sex and the City that I think we all can relate to:

• “You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothin’.” (Was Samantha wrong on this one. We do know that and that’s why we are good at it. Gag reflex? What’s that?)

• “I’m thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It’s just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it.”

• “How does that work? You go to bed one night, wake up the next morning, and poof – you’re a lesbian?”

• “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hi, this is my lesbian lover. And p.s.: I’m done with dick?’”

• “Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?”

This last one brings me to my next topic. A good friend of mine that happens to be married (to a guy) asked me to talk about my views on three ways. Funny enough, something just happened this week that made me stop and think about it more.

Right way, wrong way and the three way

I have tried them and I guess they can be fun if your relationship and your mind are on the right place. A sexual three way with no emotional connection, of course, is hot, but when one of the other two is someone you care for, it gets a little bit more complicated.

Because I’m a tri-sexual (I’ll try anything once), I’ve experienced three ways from hot sex to a three way relationship deal (I felt like I was part of HBO’s Big Love). Although it was fun, it also got really complicated.

The truth is when you have three people, someone will at some point get less attention. That creates instabilities and insecurities. If you are already insecure or your relationship is not stable, then chances are that it won’t work for you.

Why are we turning straight?

Lately, I keep seeing all these gay events at straight clubs and it just puzzles me why are we trying to “invade” them.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against straight people or straight bars, but when I see our gay bars struggling to get people, it makes me wonder where our priorities are. Most of these businesses are the ones that built and continue to support programs within our community.

DJ Pornstar will be spinning and signing some of his videos at Numbers on March 26.

Actually I do have something against straight bars. The drinks are always pricy and weak. I was at AC Lounge this past Tuesday to check out their gay night event and a small weak drink was $7.

That made me leave and go on to my next destination, Bourbon Street for Tasty Tuesday. And I had a blast there. Stop by and support them. First Tuesday: Battle of the divas hosted by Shania and Naomi; Second Tuesday: Hot model underwear contest $300 cash and prizes; Third Tuesday: College night drink specials with college ID; Fourth Tuesday: featured artist night free CD giveaways.

Varsity at Numbers on Thursdays are also great. I had a blast on St. Patrick’s Day there. I was probably a fashion road-kill as I am color blind and can’t see green.

Lady Gaga

The diva will be in San Diego for her concert March 29 at 8 p.m. at the Viejas Arena. She has become the first musician to achieve more than 20 million digital singles sales. Her single “Just Dance” has gone six times platinum, “Poker Face” five times platinum and “Bad Romance” four times platinum. “Paparazzi” and “Love Game” are not far behind.

Lady Gaga has given a rare insight into her pre-fame past in a new book, Everyone Loves You When You Are Dead. In the book, written by Neil Strauss, Gaga speaks about her past drug abuse and the conditions in which she used to live in when she was younger.

“Sometimes it freaks me out when I think about laying in my apartment [in New York] with bedbugs and roaches on the floor and mirrors with cocaine everywhere, and no will or interest in doing anything but making music and getting high,” she said.

She added: “I’ve had such obstacles with drugs and rejection and people not believing in me. It’s been a very long and continuous road that I love, but it’s hard to just chalk it up to myself.” Gaga said she experimented with drugs for artistic ends, inspired by David Bowie and Mick Jagger. “I didn’t have a bad childhood,” she said. “All of the things I went through were on my own quest for an artistic journey to fuck myself up like [Andy] Warhol and Bowie and Mick.”

Porn, fashion and good music

Sounds like a party to me!

Saturday, March 26, DJ Pornstar – aka Dominic Pacifico – will be spinning and signing some of his videos at Numbers.

That same night is the famous annual Rufskin fashion show at Rich’s and DJ Tony Moran – not a porn star – will be at Spin.

Thankfully, I will be in New York and don’t have to choose between these fun events.

Stop by The Center on April 2, 6 p.m. to support the Imperial Court and see me step down as Prince and step up as Emperor. It should be a fun night for charity.

I am off to New York this week and I am sure I will have plenty to share on my next column. Don’t forget: Until he says “I love you,” you’re a free agent.

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