This is part two of my series on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In this column, I’d like to look at The First Agreement: Be impeccable with your word. Breaking that down it means, “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
There’s a reason why this agreement is the first one. It’s the most important agreement and also the most difficult one to honor. It sounds easy, but it’s very powerful.
What is your word? Your word is power. Your word is the power that you have to create. Your word is the gift that comes directly from God.
In the Gospel of John, we read, “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.” The God of all creation who spoke things into existence … solar systems, planets, land and sea, you and me, and did it with the power of the word.
In the same way, through the word, you express your creative power. It’s through the word you manifest things – you bring them into being. The word is more than just a sound (woo hoo!), and it’s more than a written symbol (l-o-v-e), the word is a force; it’s the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and also to create events in your life.
The word is the most powerful tool you possess. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. One edge of the sword is the misuse of the word – which hurts, tears down and destroys. The other edge is the impeccability of the word – which will only create beauty, love and life. Both of these edges are sharp and powerful.
The word is like a seed – and our mind is so fertile. You plant a seed, a thought, and it grows. Your mind is fertile, but only for those kinds of seeds it’s prepared for. Like preparing seeds to be planted in a garden, it’s important to see what kind of seed our mind is fertile for, and to consciously prepare our mind to receive seeds of love.
I remember hearing my mom, when she was trying to learn something on the piano, say things like, “Oh, you’re so stupid, Betty!” I listened to that as a kid, and didn’t think anything about it. Then years later, after adopting this agreement, whenever I’d hear her say anything negative against herself, I’d stop her in her tracks and say, “Mom, no you’re not stupid. That’s not true. Now, stop it!” Who told her that? When did she begin to believe it?
Whenever we hear an opinion, we have a choice to not believe it or to believe it. When we believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.
It’s often the people we love or those who love us the most, who are the ones who hurt us, and most of the time they don’t even know what they do. That’s why we must forgive them; they know not what they do.
So, be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself, or to gossip about others.
How in the world does a person begin to gossip? We learn how to gossip by agreement. When we were little kids, we heard the adults around us gossiping, openly giving their opinions about other people. They had opinions about people down the street, at work, in the church and people they didn’t even know, and not just individuals, entire groups of people, you know “them.” We learned this, as kids, to be a normal way of communicating.
I like the analogy that Don Miguel Ruiz gives. Think of your mind as a computer and think of gossip as a computer virus. A computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same language that all the other codes are written in, but with a harmful intent. This code is inserted into the program of your computer when you least expect it and most of the time without your awareness.
After this code has been introduced, your computer doesn’t work quite right, or it doesn’t work at all. What a mess.
Like a bad virus, one little piece of misinformation about someone can break down communication between people, causing every person it touches to become infected and then become contagious to others.
Imagine that every single time others gossip to you, they insert a computer virus into your mind. Then imagine that in an effort to clean up your own confusion (in your most sincere way of wanting to know the truth, for the good of the other person), you gossip and spread these viruses on to someone else. It becomes a never-ending chain.
You’ve got power! Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Change the way you speak about yourself. Every time you hear yourself speaking negative, stop! Don’t use the word against yourself. You might have to do some self-talk. Say the “Atta girl!” Begin breaking all of those teeny, tiny agreements that make you suffer. Love yourself enough to constantly fight against the negative tapes.
Is it possible? I believe it is. With just this one agreement, you can change your whole life. Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom. It can take away fear and doubt and transform your life into joy and love.
Be empowered!
Pastor Dan
Rev. Dan Koeshall is the Senior Pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met) in San Diego, California www.themetchurch.org
